“I Wish I Were Gay” - Shoshana Bean & Jeremy Jordan (TrevorLive NYC 2017) | Original Song

“I Wish I Were Gay” | Original Song
For Trevor Live NYC 2017
Composed (Music, Lyrics, Script) and Orchestrated by Rick McKee
Vocals Arranged by Tim Davis
Performed by Shoshana Bean and Jeremy Jordan

I was deeply honored to be a part of this event... The Trevor Project is an incredible organization, and they are here for you!!!
http://www.thetrevorproject.org

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• • •

The glitz, the glamour, begets cabaret.
When life’s a drag, paint it up just like a Monet!
It’s queer, but it’s time for coming out to say:
Gee, I wish I were…

I WISH I WERE GAY!!

Short-shorts in winter and flannel in May,
Reports say December’s not the only time for the SLAY! 
Transform me to chic out of my déclassé!
Gee, I wish I were gay!

Playboy, for reading, is never a lie,
And “masc for masc” ain’t a Phantom costume supply!
And, “girlfriend” is nay, a “girl” nor “friend” reply!
Hey, I wish I were gay!

With nary but an ancillary turn of a phrase,
Proving Yiddish isn’t only for the Jews,
OY VEY!
With their care-selected, interjected shtick dossiers,
They can show you their ways — care to try?
Wouldn’t you?!

Elated while next to the similar sex?
Maybe you could traverse either way!
If this isn’t you, be an ally through and through!
But, gee!  I wish I were gay!!

You can pass on desert, never skipping the cake!
When lo, a jock-strap, does not, a proper jock, make!
When the big and the little spoon can — alternate,
Then hey, you’d wish you were gay!

If your “everyday purse” is a photographer’s vest…
Something about Sarah Lawerence!
If it’s spelled with a “z”, you fall-out for sake of an “s”…
Oh, ’Cause Liza with a Z goes “Z” not “S” — I knew that one…
Then you’ll double your wardrobe when he/ she says, “yes!!”
Hooray!
You’ll wish you were gay!!

A diva shan’t achieve a higher seat in the ranks,
Than to be a chant-receiver to the pride!
Every Barbara, Liza, Judy belt was rolling the banks!
Sixteen bars in a spanx?  Hell, I’d give that a try!

When the library’s open, and girls are all golden,
You know you’re among your posse!

Are there dues we can pay?!
Maybe points to accrue?!
I just wish I were gay!
Honey, we wish it, too!!

Thank you all!  What a gift, if it only could last.
So a toast to our friends, taking life up the —

…OCTAVE!!!

Gee, I wish…
Oh I wish…
Glory, how… I wish I were…
Gay!!

I wish I were gay!!