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Episode XII of "Election '08," a series of spoken word works by Mike Varley covering the 2008 campaign. A new entry every Sunday with free mp3 downloads at mikevarley.com.

On The Hardest Thing I've Ever Had to Do

Hillary, I think we need to go on break

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I still love you, please remember that. It's just that, well...I'm not attracted to you anymore.

It's your art. I'm sorry, don't get mad please. Please, just stop. I'm trying to help you, Hillary! Don't you see what this is making you?

Where is my friend who used to debate Health Care with me? Huh? Who used to get Indian food with me? Where is the girl who used to wear sundresses to the movies and let me slide my hand up her thigh, huh? I miss her, Hillary.

And I just watched. I bit my tongue Hillary and maybe that was my fault. I just watched as you sold off each piece of yourself to the dream. Because I thought we could be happy. I thought once we had it we'd be happy.

What happiness is this, Hillary? We've changed, both of us, and I hate the me I've become! You've taken advantage of my love for you so many times all that's left is an abomination -- a beaten, diseased dog. I feel so weak with you Hillary. I love you so much, but I just can't love us anymore.

I have a confession.

No, stop. Don't even look at me with your eyes like that. I have a confession and I did it because of those eyes. I knew I wasn't strong enough for them. I needed to hurt you to end it. I visited Olbermann's again, Hillary. That's right. And now you can never, ever turn those eyes on me again because there's no more trust in them. I'm so sorry, Hillary. I loved us so much, and I'll always love you for the memories we made.

But I was holding on to us too long, and then it wasn't us anymore. I hope we can talk about this one day, someday. I hope you'll somehow not hate me and we can just talk, like we used to. We could find common ground again, Hillary. We used to be so good at that.

I'm moving to Europe. Please don't call. I've talked about it for so long and it's now or never. Here's the address for Countdown; have one of the aides forward my mail there, please.

Goodbye, Hillary. There's too much more to say.