how are you, heechul?☆

it's been a year, a month and a day, how are you doing heechul-ah?
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song: Hello/How are you by Hatsune Miku (you should HD this because heenim is beautiful~)
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i woke up last week and found myself thinking of heechul, he who has so many connections and just loves to laugh.he who tries to come off strong and sees tears as weakness.he who does whatever he wants, whenever he wants it. he who is harder to understand the more you get to know him.
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i have long stopped trying to figure out heenim because, you can't really know a person you just watch. oftentimes, he's a contradiction: so transparent with so many hidden layers, and i can only wonder what lies underneath these layers. i can only wonder when i think of him.
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~don't be fooled by the cute voice. this song is really sad. that feeling of keeping it all inside until it overflows and it drains you. that feeling of waiting for everything to end, never knowing if it will even end. that feeling of hope and tears and regret.
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it took me a week to make this. thought i'd make a heechul-vid while experimenting on vegas styles and effects and releasing all the frustrations i've felt/ been feeling the past few months. hoot, that's 3 birds in 1 stone.
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I'm not really vocal with my feelings and when I'm depressed, I keep to myself. But when I'm struggling, I will think of heechul, donghae, of SJ, the happy times and silly moments, the struggles they've surpassed, the hopelessness they might have felt, and their determination to move forward and somehow, I will feel better. For me, they aren't just some flower idol group, they are my breath of fresh air when I'm suffocating from life.
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Making this made me feel better. and i will be better because everything will be as time goes by.
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how about you? how are you feeling today?