Скачать или смотреть M3 Bearcast Ep 7: Self Expression, Acceptance and Fashion w Kirklan

In this engaging episode of the M3 Bearcast, host Malcolm Travers is joined by Kirkland Hawes, the visionary founder of XL Tribe, and Gregory Drayton. The conversation traverses the intersection of fashion, entrepreneurship, and the social dynamics of the gay community. From the struggle of finding stylish clothes for larger men to the psychological layers of shame and the importance of kindness, this episode offers a deep dive into what it means to live authentically.

Here is a detailed breakdown of the topics discussed:

The Birth of XL Tribe: Fashion as a Calling


Kirkland shares the inspiring story of starting XL Tribe after several failed business ventures1111. He details how his frustration with the lack of stylish options for big and tall men at the mall turned into a "nagging" calling that he couldn't ignore . The discussion highlights how fashion is more than just clothing; it is a visual representation of how a person feels on the inside and a tool for self-expression3.

The Entrepreneur’s Dilemma: The Skill of Delegation


The trio explores the difficult transition from being a solo creator to a business leader. Kirkland explains that once you assign a task to someone else, you must "fire yourself" from that job to focus on high-level goals444444444. Malcolm and Kirkland discuss the challenges of letting go of control and the necessity of building a team to achieve true "elevation" in any endeavor.

The "Triple Layer Shame Cake"


Referencing the book The Velvet Rage, the conversation touches on the layers of shame that many men in the community navigate. They discuss how hiding one's sexuality, coupled with issues of race and fat-shaming, creates a "triple layer shame cake" that can stymie self-actualization7. The episode celebrates those who have "bitten through" these layers to express their authentic selves.

Social Etiquette and the "Rude" Gay Community


The episode was sparked by a TikTok video questioning why some members of the gay community are "rude" when rejecting others in public settings9999. Gregory and Kirkland debate the subjectivity of rudeness, with Kirkland arguing that "darting away" from someone is unnecessary and hurtful . They discuss the importance of setting social norms within our own circles of influence and practicing basic human kindness.

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