Скачать или смотреть It’s Not “Refusal” — It’s Pain

What can I do if my child refuses to go to school?

1. Start with validation.
Because before anything changes, your child needs to feel seen.

You can say things like:
• “I can see how hard this is for you.”
• “I’m not sure I would be able to go to school either if I felt the way you do.”
• “You’re not doing this on purpose. You’re struggling — and I’m here with you.”

Validation doesn’t mean agreeing with staying home.
It means acknowledging the emotional truth underneath the behaviour.

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2. Advocate for your child.
School refusal is rarely about “not wanting to go.”
It’s about anxiety, overwhelm, sensory stress, friendship issues, learning difficulties, or something deeper.

Ask the school for:
• Reasonable adjustments
• Reduced timetable
• Safe person / safe space
• Gradual exposure plan
• Mental health support
• Communication between home and school

You are not being “difficult.”
You’re being a parent who refuses to ignore their child’s distress.

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3. Take care of yourself too.
School refusal puts parents under enormous pressure — from school, family, work, and even themselves.
You’re trying to support your child while managing fear, stress, and judgment.

Remind yourself:
You’re not failing.
You’re navigating something incredibly hard with very little guidance.

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