Karen - The Musical

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CREDITS
Written, Produced & Performed by: Chelsea Jones
Video Directed, Filmed & Edited by: Jarrod White
Animation by: Jarrod White
Karen Protesters: Mum, Dad, Nan, Liam Jones, Tricia Jones, Tiffany Hodgson, Georgia Kennedy, Linda Xu, Olivia George, Blair Duthie, Leisl Lucerne-Knight
Blender Assets: OliverMH, FnaX, AnyRPG, Barcin

LYRICS

I can’t hide the hurt
I can’t mask the shame
they laughed in my face
when I told them my name

But it’s not my fault
no I can’t be to blame
they’re fanning the fire
saying I sparked the flame

Now the dagger’s plunged deep in my bosom
No-one cares about the plight of a rich white woman!

No-one understands what it’s like to be Karen
No-one understands what it’s like for me Karen

and I can’t bear the humiliation
they’re tarnishing Karens good reputation
surely this qualifies as defamation!!

That’s it.
No more Mrs nice Karen
the world’s seen nothing yet
if the people want a Karen
then a Karen’s what they’ll get
I’ll show them all
Every manager will pay!!!

Here comes Karen
knocking on the door
as you’re closing up your store

Here comes Karen
appearing like a phantom
to throw an adult tantrum

I will call the cops when you’re walking your dog
I will call the cops when you’re out for a jog
I will call the cops if you answer me back
and no, it’s not, because you are black!

I have lots of black friends (lHave mercy on Karen)
And none of them have treated me this way (An innocent victim)
I am colour blind
tolerant and kind
on Thursdays I do Zumba with a man who’s probably gay

But I can take it all back with a snap of my fingers
it’s a fact in my day we had sweets named after…
people of colour.

Here comes Karen
screaming in your face
over a parking space

Here comes Karen
claiming she’s been lied to
at the Macca's drive-through

They say that I’m a conspiracist
when I say my mask has been microchipped
and that covid 19 has been packed and shipped here by China
this is discrimination because of my vagina!

What about my life?
Doesn’t my life have value?
Doesn’t my life matter?
Does no one care about me?
What about my rights?
What about statues?
The innocent landmarks of our vibrant history!

And just like a statue
they’re tearing me down
just like a statue
they try to push me to the ground (like Captain Cook)
just like a statue
what about my life?
no-one understands what it’s like to be Karen
what about the pain in my bosom, the pain of a misunderstood white woman?
What if I was Sharon?
an S and a H could change my fate
what if I was Sharon?
There’d be no more hurt, there’d be no more hate
if I was Sharron…

I’d be relaxing on the beach with my toes in the sand
a Balinese woman rubbing lotion on my hand
the manager would listen, he would understand if I was Sharron (If she was Sharron)

And he would grant all of my wishes just like a genie
without hesitation he’d be like “here have a freebie”
a never-ending flow of espresso martini’s for Sharron (If she was Sharron)

MANAGER (spoken)
An imposter!! Take away her espresso martini!!

BALINESE WOMAN (Spoken)
Shield your eyes!

BALINESE WOMANS DAUGHTER (Spoken)
Mummy I’m scared!

MANAGER (SPOKEN)
That’s not Sharron. It’s something far more sinister- something far more dangerous…

ANGRY MOB
Her babies have rabies because they aren’t vaccined
I hear her nails are long and sharp just like Wolverine
I hear she goes to book club but doesn’t read the books
and she can get you fired with just a single look…
beware of Karen
beware of Karen
beware of Karen

KAREN CHOIR
We’ll stand up and fight
(here comes Karen)
we’ll march through the night
(here comes Karen)
the revolution’s begun
and now we’re marching as one
so look out because here we come!

We’re not sure if we’re right…
(Here comes Karen)
But we’re loud and we’re white
(Here we come!!!)
we pay your wages
you don’t deserve us
It’s customer service
go on and serve us

So be prepared!!
No-one will be spared
the world will regret
the day that it dared to mess with…
KAREN!! (No one understands what it’s like to be)
KAREN!! (No one understands what it’s like for me)
KAREN!!!!