August 28th at 7am we said goodbye to our daughter Mae West, 19 year old tiny baby angel kitten. She was the biggest, best part of every day. I miss her being here so terribly. I wish I could tell her that we had to take her body from her to save her from more pain that was coming. I wanted her not to suffer anymore, it was gut wrenching to see my little baby gasping for air as her lungs filled with fluid again only a couple days after I had them drained in the ER vet.
She sat on my lap while I sewed every dress I ever made. She was my Protectress, and maintained a 50ft perimeter of wherever I was on the property.
She was always close to me and when I didn't see her, all I had to do was call "Here kitty kitty kitty!". She was my baby and she would come running and meowing just as happy to see me as i was to see her. I would pick her up and kiss her perfect little head and just cuddle her like a baby child. I loved exclaiming "My baby!" Every single time she entered our space. When I didn't immediately see her and wanted her I would cry out "where's my baby!?" Then run and find her and cuddle her and give her treats.
When the day was tough, when life was hard I would just find her and bury my head in her fur which was silkier than any rabbits, and all the pain left immediately. She was my healer. She was so perfect in every way.
When she had to throw up she would jump in the bath Tub, clever girl. She was so so polite, so smart, she had a huge sense of personal pride. If she lunged at her toy and missed while we were playing with the fish on the string she would pretend it was what she meant to do because she's actually cleaning herself now, and then she would sneak attack the toy if I kept tempting her. She needed lots of encouragement to get started so I would call out GOOD GIRL! WOW BABY YOU'RE AMAZING! every time she caught the toy and she would get so hyped up.
When I would garden, she would watch me and then she too would dig little holes in the dirt for me to plant things in. So intelligent! She always wanted to help and be a part of whatever I was doing.
Every day of the last 10 years, until the last couple months, I woke up to her sleeping on my chest or face, and I loved it. I learned to breathe through her fur like a filtration mask. She always smelled like cookies or roses, my boyfriend thought she smelled like his favorite foods. She always smelled like something we loved and we thought that was so weird and amazing and ethereal. How did she do that?
When my boyfriend and I moved in together he would kiss me goodbye every morning before he left for work while I was still in bed with my baby kitty. She would give a cute little purr-coo-mew and look up at him with sleepy eyes and stretch her little head up high so he could give her a forehead kiss goodbye. She would sometime's call out to him for a second kiss, irresistibly reaching her little head up to be met by his lips. She loved love, real, true and earned love.
She did not love everyone. In fact many people thought she had resting bitch face and was grouchy. That is because she believed trust had to be earned, and she saved all her love for those who she deemed worthy. She hated all other animals deeply and unforgivingly. She was an only child, our daughter.
She wanted to be our human baby, and many nights we fell asleep together as a triple spoon, her being the baby spoon in my arms, me in the middle and Mike the Giant holding the both of us in safety. She was so happy, she was always purring loudly when we were together.
I could just look at her from across the room and say "I love you my baby" and she would squint her love Blink eyes and purr so loudly I could hear her from 20 feet away.
When Mike would plate and serve our dinner, she would jump up on my lap and inspect all the things on my plate and I let her eat what she wanted. She was especially excited about pork chops, which he had already cut into tiny bite size pieces, and she loved fish, chicken, steak and butter, and absolutely a little bit of bread with butter. She also liked cookies and chips. She was loved by me with a deep obsession, and when she parted my heart physically hurt and I could barely get up the stairs without worrying I was having a heart attack. I will miss her forever until the day I die and get to be with her eternally ever after. If I had a time machine, I would use it to spend the rest of this life with her, my child.
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