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Your departure has left the Narcissist in a state of profound disbelief and shock. Your absence resonates deeply because they genuinely did not anticipate that you would make this separation permanent. They remain in complete disbelief, primarily because you are holding them accountable for their actions – specifically, the discard and the severing of your connection. You are making them face the consequences of telling you they no longer wanted you, that they were happier without you, that you were the sole source of problems, and that they desired freedom from your presence. This time, you chose not to fight. You finally released your hold. You finally let them go, allowing them to have their way. You effectively granted them exactly what they had been demanding.
The Narcissist genuinely believed they understood their actions and knew where they were headed. They envisioned a better, more appealing situation with someone else on the other side. However, reality has proven otherwise. They severely underestimated the value of what they had with you. They were profoundly blind to recognize the qualities you possessed and deaf to truly hear the important truths you shared. You offered significant insights and issued many warnings. You earnestly attempted to maintain the connection, to fight for it, to rationalize the situation, and to make sense of it all. Yet, they persistently rejected you, pushed you away, and continued to deny your reality, their own needs, and merely embraced their emptiness, finding a strange comfort in their sadness.
Indeed, misery sought company, and you were once that companionship for this deeply unhappy individual. Now, with you removed from their equation, they find themselves alone in their unhappiness, experiencing disbelief because you truly allowed them to remain the miserable person they chose to be.
To truly grasp their disbelief, we must first understand the concept of the "shared fantasy." In a relationship with a Narcissist, you aren't just a partner; you are a co-star in a movie that they are writing and directing in real-time. In this fantasy, they are the hero, the misunderstood genius, the magnetic protagonist. Your role was to validate this script, to applaud their performance, and to play the part of the devoted, ever-forgiving admirer. When they discarded you, they were simply writing your character out of a scene, fully expecting to remain the star of the show. They believed you were so invested in this fantasy, so dependent on your role, that you would wait in the wings, desperate to be written back in.
By accepting their decision and walking away for good, you didn't just leave the relationship. You tore up their entire script. You revealed that the fantasy was just that—a fantasy—and that you were a real person with your own agency. This act invalidates their entire narrative, forcing them to confront the terrifying reality that they are not the all-powerful director of everyone's lives. Your departure is a rejection of their reality itself, and for a Narcissist, that is the ultimate betrayal.
"Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you suspect you or someone you know may be involved with a narcissist, or are dealing with any psychological issues, please consult a qualified healthcare professional. This content is shared to offer insights and perspectives and should not be considered as professional or medical counsel."
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