I just needed to tell somebody this because I'm feeling extremely proud of myself for doing self-care today in form of cleaning my kitchen.... Please be nice my heart is fragile.... I did much more than I expected to be able to do. It was trash removal only, but it did loads for my (low) self-esteem as I have been feeling like trash myself for YEARS now and feeling guilty burdened me where I felt like I didn't deserve anything good in life because it felt like it would never happen. The only thing that helped me to do this today was feeling encouraged by DomesticBlisters (Struggle Care) on TikTok who is a therapist who pointed out that house duties/chores are morally neutral i.e. that doing them or not doing them does not make a person good or bad but that I DESERVE a FUNCTIONAL HOUSE.
That hit me so hard, and in a good way that I cried. I watched all of her cleaning playlist in one sitting a couple of weeks ago which shocked me that I was even able to do that in one sitting because of my situation, but I did it. I had to rewatch some of her videos & look up different subreddits and read them over a period of time to read success stories of people cleaning their depression nest with situations like me and that I wasn't alone in my situation and that maybe I could become more functional.
I have always ALWAYS not felt 'normal' for one reason or the other in my life whether it be executitive dysfunction/ ocd/depression/anxiety/body dysmorphophobia/low self-esteem etc. I just have never felt 'good enough' in one way or the other. I grew up in a hoaders house, and the fear of becoming one has created a dark cloud over me my entire life. It's haunted me. It was always something. I wouldn't say l'm a hoader as I LOVE throwing away stuff and twice l've almost threw away most of my belonginas. but I have servere depression & anxiety so yeah.... sc not out of the woodworks yet by any means, but I just needed to share my success today, even if it is only https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFB8ctjQ/ small satisfying,clean,cleaning motivation,organizing,organize,deep cleaning,decluttering,cleaning routine,cleaning hacks,deep clean,organization,homemaking,declutter with me,organizing asmr,stay at home mom,speed cleaning,spring cleaning,closet declutter,home organization ideas,sunday reset routine,becky moss,minimalism decluttering,how to declutter,cleaning tips,speed cleaning motivation,after dark cleaning motivation,3 hour cleaning marathon,real life clean with me,hoarder cleaning,extreme cleaning,home reset,3 hour cleaning compilation,sunday reset for the week,mom life cleaning motivation,decluttering motivation,relaxing night time clean with me,decluttering marathon,daily cleaning habits,new cleaning videos,realistic day of cleaning,night time cleaning routine,cleaning video,extreme declutter,new clean with me,3 hour clean with me,extreme cleaning motivation,whole house cleaning motivation,clean with me motivation,my sunday reset routine,clean with me marathon,extreme clean with me,cleaning day in the life,cleaning habits,depression cleaning,cleaning my house,sunday reset with me,stay at home mom clean with me,stay at home mom cleaning motivation,long cleaning videos,autistic cleaning,deep clean with me,cleaning movation,speed clean with me,weekly cleaning routine,all day clean with me,biohazard cleaning,cleaning marathon,messy house clean with me,saturday clean with me,decluttering tips,relaxing clean with me,clean declutter and organize,declutter and organize,sahm cleaning,disaster cleaning motivation,sahm cleaning routine,declutter & organize,clean with me kitchen,cleaning compilation,whole house declutter,whole house clean with me,after dark clean with me,whole house cleaning,ultimate clean with me,morning cleaning routine,sunday reset cleaning,declutter your home,fall clean with me,house reset,home declutter,disaster clean with me,productive sunday reset,homemaking with me,mom life clean with me,monthly cleaning routine,cleaning day,extreme decluttering,free cleaning,huge declutter,bedroom cleaning
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