Why Does Creepypasta Suck

The opinions expressed in this video are written in the first-person as a storytelling choice to make it all feel real. Please comment in-character.

Select your fake creepypasta story I made up:
The Candle Lady -   / jennynicholson  
My sexy girlfriend died and is a ghost -   / jennyenicholson  
Crash Bandicoot but he's bleeding from the eyes.jpeg -   / spider_jewel  
Never climb inside an old suitcase in a Toys R Us parking lot at 3am -   / spiderjewel  
Big Scorpion -   / jennynicholsonvids  

Stories mentioned:
The Expressionless - http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The...
Candle Cove - http://ichorfalls.chainsawsuit.com/
Abandoned By Disney - http://slimebeast.com/forum/slimy-sto...
The Russian Sleep Experiment - http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The...
Ted's Caving Page - http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/