Скачать или смотреть i will let go of you

update post
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these past few god's girl albums drifted away from the premise of my feelings towards God. tbh, i was going to make this into a sort of vent art piece. everyday i felt bitter, or isolated, I'd drop a god's girl tape. that was unhealthy, and i realized that in the time since my last one. this is the closing of the venting trilogy, and the end of chapter 2 of God's Girl (every four mixtapes is a chapter of god's girl). what i do next, i'm not certain. this isn't the end of god's girl, but a likely start to a hiatus.

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end of update

it's so silly, i almost let go. just as i was ready to end this silly yearning for you, you come back like it was nothing. i almost ripped my face off, just so that you wouldn't recognize me as the girl you left behind. it would've been so meaningless if i had. oh well, this wasn't fully about you to begin with. it's about everyone i've lost at least a 3rd into my life. the angst and pain the record would've been suffocated in dispersed when i read your dopey texts. i missed you, all the extra baggage and pain hides the simple truth that i dearly miss you.

ive learned so much since you were gone. i remembered that I've been through worse, and that i should finally start acting like it. i'm slowly starting to accept it can be neither of our faults if we drift apart. I'm begrudgingly accepting my attachment issues are only mine to bear. i wanted to be going to therapy and on hrt by the time you came back, but the Kafkaesque ways to obtain both were quite difficult. maybe i'll make something about it (most likely not music).

tracklist:

1. i dread the inevitable |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 0:00
2. the future overtakes the present, killing the past ||||||||||||||||| 2:17
3. the overbearing noise becomes a soothing song |||||||||||||||| 5:36
4. it all feels so familiar [i can't let it happen again] ||||||||||||||||| 8:13
5. mourning for the lost future, hope for the real future ||||||||| 10:04
6. you gave me something good to remember |||||||||||||||||||||||| 13:01
7. right place, right time / [but the time passed] ||||||||||||||||||||| 15:28
8. the purifying light of St. Jane washes over me ||||||||||||||||||| 18:00
9. i wash your dead skin cells off the tips of my fingernails | 20:09