Скачать или смотреть We Don't Talk About Claims Rates (A "Bruno" Parody by Edelson Creative)

The music video that has the class action world abuzz, the critics fawning, and the audience tapping their toes.

WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING
“[E]qual parts improbable and fabulous.” Reuters
“The ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ class action song you didn’t know you wanted.” Above The Law
“Bottom line: love the video.” Frank Bednarz

WHAT THE AUDIENCE IS SAYING
“I would love to see this as a full-length musical legal drama.” S.H.
“Very cleverly done.” M.C.
“A marvelous and funny way to present the ‘underground’ problem in too many class action settlements handled by some firms, but not this one.” R.B.

WHAT THE KIDS ARE SAYING
“Daddy, I thought you were a lawyer.” One of Ben Richman’s kids
“Your first [volleyball] set was a double. That’s embarrassing.” One of Jay Edelson’s kids
“It was not my favorite of the music videos but it was cute. I still like the one about volleyball based on the lonely island song.” Another one of Jay Edelson’s kids

SUMMARY
The team that brought you “Raising the Bar,” “Big Law Refuted,” “Non-Compliant,” and “I am not a Donut” are back. In their newest smash hit – “We don’t talk about Claims Rates,” Edelson Creative unmasks a hidden secret in the world of high stakes class actions: Class action attorneys know that their settlements often don’t actually benefit class members. Worse, they are intentionally designed this way. Luckily, reform is coming. And, for some reason no one explains, it comes with a heavy helping of 2s volleyball.

Rating: G
Genre: Musical parody, legal thriller
Creative Leads: Jay Edelson, Ari Scharg
Lyrics: Ari Scharg
Direction, Filming: Nolan Roy
Editing: Ari Scharg, Jay Edelson
Lead Cast: A mix of professional Chicago stage actors and Edelson talent, including Ari Scharg, Eli-Wade Scott, and Amy Hausmann.
Supporting Cast: Jay Edelson, Ben Richman, Kelsey McCann, Theo Benjamin, Angela Reilly, Kendall Gail, Schuyler Ufkes, Katy Maksymiu, Milly T. Dog, and Pablo Esco Bear.
Production Company: Edelson Creative

Opening Skit
Associate: Should we be nervous about the final approval hearing today?
Senior Associate: No, no. This is pro forma. It’s in the bag.
Associate: What if the judge asks about claims rates?
Senior Associate: Our newspaper ads reached 71 percent of the class! We’re in the clear. And the press will be gaga over the settlement. $250 million in value we created!
Associate: But our claims rate—
Partner: We don’t talk about claims rates.
Associate: But—

Lyrics
We don’t talk about claims rates, no, no, no!
We don’t talk about claims rates…
Listen
I was in court one day
(He was in court one day)
It was payday, Final approval’s gonna be easy as pie
(It should have been easy as pie)
Her Honor walks in, now it’s time to begin
All rise.
You telling this story, or am I?
I’m so sorry sir, go on

I told the court “The deal deserves acclaim”
It really did, yeah
“Well how many folks submitted claims?”
Um, do we have to answer?
We did the best notice campaign
Counsel, this is not a game!

We don’t talk about claims rates, no, no, no!
We don’t talk about claims rates

Hey!
Grew to live in fear of judges sweating us inquiring
Talking about claims got us fretting and perspiring
Gotta keep those stats buried deep under the sand
Fees without claims looks a lot more like we’re plundering
It’s enough to get some judges curious and wondering
If the truth gets out we might just be unmanned
Do you understand?

Very few claims
Are made by the class
Notice goes out
But claims don’t come back en masse

Ignore your unease
Just give us our fees
(hey!)
We don't talk about claims rates, no, no, no!
We don't talk about claims rates

We had a really great campaign
Got one percent
Claims Rates!
We know how to make it rain
Just one percent?
Claims Rates!
Chill my dude it’s not worth the worry or sweat or the strain
We’re gonna celebrate, someone pour the champagne

What if we told you the life of your dreams could be easy
without that much work
That you could do the bare minimum, you see, and succeed
not to sound like a jerk
Oye Ted Frank is on his way
Ugh that Ted Frank guy’s the worst, he makes us look so bad
People think that we’re lazy
I think I hear him now
Ted Frank, I want not a sound out of you
I can hear him now

Um, claims rates
Yeah, about those claims rates
I really want to know about claims rates
Gimme the truth and the whole truth, claims rates
(Oh no, Ted Frank is HERE!)
Ask for a recess!

They know the truth
If they just know where to look
Adam Levitt’s 1%
Just let Facebook off the hook
Yeah they see we’re lame
We’re just playing the game

SHUT UP!
You telling this story or am I
Oye, Ted Frank is on his way

I told the court "The deal is great"
They know the truth, if they just know where to look
“Well how many folks submitted claims?”
Reputation’s down the drain
He’s here!
Can’t talk about claims rates!
Why did I talk about claims rates?
Not a word about claims rates
I never should’ve brought up claims rates!