You’ve Got Mail - In Defense of Joe's "Toxic" Traits

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Is Tom Hanks’ Joe Fox in You've Got Mail not actually that toxic after all? He does make some questionable choices, and it can make you doubt at points – how romantic is this story of his courtship with Meg Ryan’s Kathleen Kelly? But as shady as some of his actions might be, Joe’s duplicity gets at the ultimate message of the film – which is that a lot of us are actually living double lives, often without realizing it. This duality is central to the romance because Kathleen also isn’t living her truest life. So why are we so afraid to be our best selves, when we know it’s going to make us happy? And what is it that finally pushes us over the edge to make that change?

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00:00 Revisiting You've Got Mail's love story
01:04 How Joe and Kathleen "play roles"
05:29 Why it's hard to be our true selves
07:57 Finding love online
09:53 Joe isn't really that bad