Скачать или смотреть $stdout - Meetings

Lyrics below. Yo dawg, I heard you like meetings, so I put a meeting on your schedule so we can meet about meetings.


Hop into the call, I don’t know why I’m here
The purpose of the meeting wasn’t ever made clear
Get through the first few awkward how are you’s
Half the people don’t realize they’re on mute
Someone says we need to get on the same page
Then links a Google doc that looks like an essay
5 minutes in, s***’s already getting old
Then we realize, we don’t really have a goal
Speaker starts lagging then their video freezes
Someone unmutes, just coughs then sneezes
Did I need to be invited?
We’re not even gonna leave with action items
I’ve had enough, who set this up?
Who put this meeting on my calendar?
Open up my schedule and my vision goes black
Cause I got four meetings like this back to back

(Chorus)
No thank you, no meetings
I really, hate speaking
Don’t add me, I’m leaving
My whole week, is meetings
No thank you, no meetings
I really, hate speaking
Don’t add me, I’m leaving
My whole week, is meetings

Sign into meeting number 2
It’s a meeting about how many meetings we should do
Did I die last night and go to hell?
Could’ve said all of this shit in emails
Got nothing done, and we’re running out of time
So they wanna do a follow-up meeting next week
20 minutes trying to get schedules aligned
Then someone’s mic made a weird high pitched screech
I finally try talking for a second
Then I realize nobody’s paying attention
You, yeah I’m talking to you
I can tell you’re on Slack by the way your eyes move
Meeting number 4, I can barely stay conscious
This whole day nothing was accomplished
I’m about to explode
F*** this, turn my camera off and just code

(Chorus)
No thank you, no meetings
I really, hate speaking
Don’t add me, I’m leaving
My whole week, is meetings
No thank you, no meetings
I really, hate speaking
Don’t add me, I’m leaving
My whole week, is meetings

We never learn, or have a choice
Half the meetings I attend, they don’t have a point
My schedule is looking like a game of Tetris
We’re smart people, I bet we can find a better method
So we try “no meetings” one day a week
Supposed to have 0 meetings but I get 3
With weird 30 minute time breaks in between
I can’t get anything done so I just eat
This is taking all my brainpower
A meeting’s called quick sync but it’s 2 hours
Weekly check-in that’s always skipped
So why does it exist? I’m about to lose my shit
How does anybody get stuff done?
How the f*** does this place even run?
My standup update is repeating
Every day I just say “more meetings”

(Chorus)
No thank you, no meetings
I really, hate speaking
Don’t add me, I’m leaving
My whole week, is meetings
No thank you, no meetings
I really, hate speaking
Don’t add me, I’m leaving
My whole week, is meetings