Diaper Don (Parody of "Big Bad John" by Jimmy Dean)

NOTE: Please don't bother telling us that Trump doesn't weight "239". That number is a joke, referencing the infamous Dr. Ronnie physical report. Let's keep up, folks. :)

Thanks to Mary in Ann Arbor for background vocals!

(lyrics)

Every mornin' on line
You could see him there whine
He stood six foot 3 and weighed 239*

Kind of broad at the tummy
And padded at the hip
And everybody knew he had to get a grip
Diaper Don

Nobody seemed to know when Don would go home
Though his wife was crated up and packed in styrofoam
He wouldn't shut up about Pennsylvania now
And everytime he loses, he has himself a cow, Diaper Don

Somebody used that hashtag that weekend
Sayin' it was fairly clear he was wearin' some Depends
And a crash to his ego caused a late-night rant
So everybody'd know about the padding in his pants, Diaper Don

From his tiny desk, he put out a big tweet
And the coal miners said "Biden, he's a big cheat!"
And 80 million people put his hopes in the grave
And now there's only one who thought it was a close shave, and that's Don

With lawyers and stories, they'd start that defense
Then came that rumble from Fox and Friends
And as Power and Billionaires started to whine
Everybody knew it was the end of the line, 'cept Don

Well, they never re-nominated that worthless twit
They just put a marble stand in front of that shit
These few words are written on that stand
At the bottom of this butt, lies a big, big diaper man

Diaper Don