Скачать или смотреть Delia Gligor- Rent Is Due

An attempt to vocalize one of my poems. Please be kind :)

Rent Is Due
How could I unhate you?
As I ask myself, someone pops up and
Tells me hate is just another side of love
And I tell him that he's wrong
That if only one existed then there
wouldn't be the other
And that it is not another side of the same coin
But another side of another coin
'Cause I like to think of myself as
Rich in emotions
If only I could have that comfort.
There is this millennial sadness cheering and clapping on my shoulders
at every concert we attend
The weight of it..
Oh, the weight of it makes it even harder to carry any backpacks anymore.
And this darkness above my nightstand lamp's level
I cannot pierce through
Perhaps I was never tall enough.
And there's too much space
In my kingsize bed
That makes me sick everytime I
Lay diagonally...
Diagonally....as I've taught myself to walk
knowing you could not draw a steady line.
This tornado of us broke all my wine glasses and
stained all my nightgowns.
I found myself painting with white on blank pages
as a homage to all the trees we once sat beneath
That you cut to honour your paper business.
Money moves people like poetry. You taught me that. I denied this knowledge.
Nothing moved anyone anymore.
I only took the tube to stop at all your underground stations
And hell, the frequencies* of delays in your service.
Don't worry, Time was always my friend.
And I've got this mixtape from you
Which I despise
And I play
All over again
In my head.
There was I prying into your chest til my fingers bled
trying to find the source of the voice that once told me
Love does regenerate.
Tell me, how does a renegate regenerate?
Tell me, what do you feel when you unclench your fists?
Do you rejoice in the face of loss?
Someone said that starting from zero
means there's nothing to lose...
But hell, I never passed my math exam, but I know this much
You could easily overdraft in emotions.
Such doom, how? hell...
You know what, better yet, tell me nothing
No more.
And then I turn around and ask for more
Change at the cash out
Because the machine does not take notes
And I wanted a lollipop
But the only sweetness I can taste
Is that behind the bitterness of
Nostalgia
And how I hate nostalgia
With all my coins and all their sides
All sides of hate 'cause LOVE is a whole
'nother value
Which I do not possess
I am poor like that
And rent is due.