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How Can I Make My Ex Regret Losing Me? | Coach Adrian Has The Answer!

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Hello and welcome to Love Advice TV. I just got off the phone with a client who asked me, “Coach Adrian, how can I make my ex regret losing me?” The question made me smile. Is it even a good thing to want to make an ex regret losing you? There are pros and cons, there's a good side to this and there are obviously things that I do not like about the implications of this question.

Number one, it's a question that is rooted in ego and fear. It's not about making an ex regret losing you so that you can have the upper hand or the last laugh. It should be about wanting to grow and wanting to experience something greater, learning from your mistakes and using this process as a way to make yourself better. That should be the right mindset. If you are spiteful, if you're out for revenge, I'm not the coach for you, this is not how I operate. Having said all that, if the question comes from a place of wanting to be your best self, really wanting to grow to the point where your ex has no other option or alternative but to realize that they made a mistake in judging you or in believing that you could not change, that you were set in your negative ways, then I'm your man, let's make it happen.

It's about becoming your best self because it's about that true process of personal transformation that I often talk about. How do we get there? We get there by breaking up from the break-up, by detaching from the hurt, the pain, the drama, and the failed expectation that came from the separation. As long as you are still in this emotional, vulnerable place, it's going to be very difficult for you to get to the point where your ex regrets losing you. But, if you digest it, to detach from it, to let the dust settle, and to actually become that person that they fell in love with at the beginning of your relationship, then you're in business, then we're talking. As I often say in my relationship coaching session, it's about creating a new identity. A breakup, a separation, or divorce is an identity crisis. Your plans, your goals, the vision that you had, the security that you had, is all shattered, and you have to reinvent yourself.
I see hundreds of good people that are doing this every single day, that are fighting the good fight. I see you leaving comments on our videos, in our free Facebook group or on our articles, leaving positive comments, tuning in to our YouTube lives, striving to be your best self. That's what it's all about. You make an ex regret losing you when you free yourself from that need to seek their validation. When you free yourself from that need to get back together. You don't need to be back together. You should choose your partner, not need them. The moment you need them, you've put them on a pedestal, and you are not your true self, and there's no way that they'll regret losing you. You're not inspiring them, you're not providing them with that security, you're not that version of yourself. That's the key. You want to make your ex regret losing you? Become your true self. Embrace that challenge.

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It would truly be our pleasure to help you be and with the one you love, as always keep fighting the good fight and I wish you all the very best.

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