Скачать или смотреть A Spoken Poem Performance of RIVER by Rocco Taldin

Rocco Taldin - A spoken performance of RIVER a suicide poem. Read to an audience of Richmond's best poets on March, 6, 2024. Place/Location: Gramophone Wine bar on Forest Hill.
RIVER
He is alone on a dock
by the river by the river the river.
Tell me why…
I am alone again as always...I can't stand it anymore RIVER. I know...I am as they say clinical...but you already know this.
You know everything, everything.

You've watched and heard it all...the stupid and banal things that I've subjected myself to. Why? Because it never stops never leaves my side my bag of shadows they follow me.
The gravity the weight is killing me.
This dreaded existence ...my companion in life gone.
Now...this end...still
in the darkness. Darkness darkness darkness
All the shadows seem happy. Mine, yes my own private emotional void of pure agonizing depression….
I know what you're thinking, that it's just a chemical imbalance in my mind...body...psyche but it doesn't matter what the thing is…
What matters is that I'm in this painful debilitating state every goddamned minute I'm awake.
I...didn't mean that God...
I mean..I mean I mean.
I am directing my anger to RIVER...my friend. But it was you God that took away the family...burned them alive screaming in the EV car.
The battery exploded with them belted in
the locks electrical
stayed locked stayed locked.
God damnit -Them…but not me?
The bastard pulled me out before
I was dead enough, dead enough dead enough. Condemned now to myself, my useless stupid self. Fused to my constant thoughts of…
utter sick self pity and guilt ridden soul.

So RIVER...I do have my gun.
I do have my gun. I do have my gun
I...cleaned it this morning…
this beautiful morning…
my beautiful gun. My beautiful gun.
Just for this final day. Every part polished to perfection for this one act.
Never fired even once.
My virgin gun...first time to be fired.
We are so connected now in this space and time the intersection. Each bullet rubbed with fine linen cloth and with my loving caresses meant for…a family I can no longer
live without. Live without. Live without.

I am ready this time to do it...to end this overwhelming darkness that's riding on top of me. This depression...I'll be free...of this curse imposed on me by some evil entity. Of something evil and by extension I'm evil... obsessed and in so love with death...mine.

Today, a gift to myself and by my
good RIVER, my good river - good river.

Look at me and tell me why I have to live any longer RIVER. Why?
There is no answer, just silence. Your silence of sound…
of moving water going down to the ocean.
But you are never happy or sad you don't need justification.
That's why I love you. And soon I'll be with you...another drop in the torrent...oblivious. Damn me...I do seem morose on this day.
I don't mean to be...after all I am finally making a move towards my destiny…
towards my destiny...
towards my destiny...

Into your embrace on this good day.
This ending...blissful nothing…
River take me with you!
River, take me home.
Bang!