“Nonviolent Communication” (aka Compassionate Communication) sounds nice on paper, but how applicable is it really to life? The phrasing can sound clunky, so how can I possibly integrate it in a natural way? In this video we are going to run through a number of examples that give us practice looking at life through an NVC lens.
𝙋𝙍𝙀𝙍𝙀𝙌𝙐𝙄𝙎𝙄𝙏𝙀𝙎:
NVC FOR BEGINNERS • NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION FOR BEGINNERS // ...
COMMUNICATION 1 • Communication Tips《 Part 1/3 》
COMMUNICATION 2 • Communication Tips 《 Part 2/3 》
COMMUNICATION 3 • Communication Tips《 Part 3/3 》
𝙋𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙀 𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀:
‣ NVC FEELINGS LIST
‣ NVC NEEDS LIST
‣ NOTEPAD
𝙏𝙄𝙈𝙀𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙈𝙋𝙎:
2:43 Clip 1
6:19 Clip 2
8:51 Clip 3
12:21 Clip 4
14:10 Clip 5
16:43 Clip 6
28:57 Clip 7
30:07 Clip 8
37:05 Clip 9
39:09 Clip 10
42:35 Clip 11
This video covers a broad range of NVC principals and tools like - How to make a request, Delineating between thoughts and feelings, Not taking things personally, Rephrasing “you” statements, Being aware of absolutes, Identifying jackal behavior, Encouraging Giraffe behavior, etc. With each clip we exercise our empathy muscle by guessing what is going on for the characters on screen.
Try this out in your own life and be an observer - of TV, movies, media, of your friends, of your family and of yourself. We practice in order to better understand both ourselves and others - ultimately to help us all toward a shared goal of connection!
𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆𝙂𝙍𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿:
NVC was developed in the 1960’s by Marshall Rosenberg. It has been referred to as “a language of compassion, as a tool for positive social change, and as a spiritual practice". Essentially, it’s a model for thinking about and having an exchange with oneself and others. In Marshall’s words, NVC is employed to “create quality connection that inspires compassionate giving and receiving.” It is applicable to all interpersonal relationships and can even be used with one’s own inner dialogue.
In NVC we are careful to use accurate terminology to delineate between feelings and thoughts. We too take responsibility for our feelings, recognizing that no one else can make one person feel a certain way- there is a difference between a stimulus and the actual cause of a reaction. NVC teaches that there is always a reason behind actions. At any given time we are seeking to meet a need - Needs that are basic and universal to all humans.
We practice both expression and listening in NVC. Being heard is an important need and when one feels heard they soften in a way that allows them to then truly hear others. We practice remaining open to outcome as well. Whether we hear yes or no in response to our request, all answers are welcome because they help inform us of another’s experience and move us closer to solution. We can ease hearing “no” by shifting our perspective and imagining into what the other person might be saying “yes” too as an alternative. We can also shift our perspective in order to bring more lightness to our situation. Instead of thinking about what we don’t have, we think about “what would make life more wonderful?” Lastly, we remember that NVC is not passive. Whether we get it right or not, guessing what is going on for another person is a significant component of the practice.
There are two animals NVC references as symbols of behavior - The jackal, which is a vicious scavenger with a low-lying perspective, acting competitive, judgmental, speaking in demands, fear, blame and shame. The giraffe is powerful and gentle with a big heart and tall neck that allows for a wide perspective. The giraffe does not blame, demand, threaten or judge, they are objective and act empathetically. There are four ways one can respond to a situation: we can be a jackal outwardly, a jackal inwardly, a giraffe outwardly or a giraffe inwardly.
There are four steps when it comes to resolving conflict. They are 1. Observation 2. Feeling 3. Needs 4. Request. NVC works by dissolving tension through our natural ability to give & receive empathy. This provides the key of connection which opens a door and allows a relationship to move forward. Finally, consensual requests support progress on behalf of both parties.
✶ 𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝘿𝙀𝘿 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙄𝙉𝙂:
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B Rosenberg
𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙀𝘾𝙏:
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～ I do not own clips nor am I receiving monetization from their use. Footage is featured (as fair use, transformed from commentary) for educational purposes and rights remain to their respective shows and movies: Home Improvement (ABC), New Girl (Fox), Keeping Up with the Kardashians (E! Entertainment Television), Never Have I Ever (Netflix), Married at First Sight (A+E Networks), The Breakup (Universal Pictures), Gilmore Girls (WB, CW), Modern Family (ABC).
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