How Do I Become A Better Wife? | Paul Friedman

Becoming a better wife is not easy, but it is worth the effort, not only to please your husband and enrich your marriage but also to increase your own individual happiness. Watch Paul explain this topic in the video.

This is not a difficult topic for me to discuss but you have to be very careful. You have to be very careful to not be affected and go, "How dare he?" or "What's he's saying?" This is the real deal. I used to be a divorce mediator. I help people get a divorce and I was very successful. The way I did it was I was very clear. Divorce mediation -- there's a lot of emotion that has to be set aside and so I would use a whiteboard and I would help the couple see what they were faced with clear and then explain how do we get the emotions out of this. And that's not a popular thing to do these days, for some reason the psyche
community is talking about honoring your emotions. Well, there was a time when they
said vent.

There was a time when they said drum. There was a time when they said, "Don't worry about your kids. Get a divorce, it's fine." Well, they're learning as they go a little bit at a time but they're missing the whole point of marriage. Well, you want to be a better wife so I'm going to help you understand at the most core level how to do that because obviously if you want to be a better wife what it's telling me is that there's something missing in your
marriage. Maybe you see that your husband is starting to look at porn sites or dating sites or maybe he's not paying enough attention to you or maybe he came out and said look, "You're just not taking care of me maybe we should end our marriage."

This happens, we see way too much of it at The Marriage Foundation. Let's begin with what does it mean to be a good wife and let's go right to the first principle of marriage. The first principle of marriage you might say is I got married to be happier so did my husband. My husband got married to be happier.

What does that tell you?
That you should bake him a cake every day that you should do the striptease when he comes home?

No. You got to ask yourself what is it that my husband married me for and I'm going to
tell you now, most people don't know the answer to that because I have a background in spiritual studies and I'm not going to take my religious studies but in spiritual studies, I have an understanding that a lot of people don't have I'm going to share this with you.
In the deepest subconscious mind, your husband, because he's a man, is not able to connect to his own heart the way you do and you know that's true. He doesn't see the children the way you see them. He doesn't understand suffering the way you understand it. He doesn't have a natural propensity towards compassion.

These are heart qualities. In the male design, the gendered design of the male and it's not
an absolute. It doesn't lend itself towards a heart connection. When a man wants a heart
connection, he's got to really work at it so he married you in order to feel that heart connection, that love. The true you is a soul, not a religious soul, you're just a soul just because the psyche community doesn't acknowledge this doesn't mean it isn't true.
You're a soul, you don't have a soul. You are one. You have a mind, you have a body this physical form but you are a soul. The soul's natural essence is pure, unadulterated, unconditional love that's why your husband married you. He didn't know that but that's why.

Watch the video for more.

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