I Know It’s My Fault. (Original Song)

Lyrics:

I know that I’m cold and inconsistent and invasive,
There are worse things I could be and that I am but if I wasn’t,
Might give you a call just to remind you how I love you,
I might let you believe.

I hope you can forgive me that I’m not a social person.
There are worse things I could be and that I am, but if I wasn’t,
I might run away and take a train to start a new life.
With someone I don’t know.

You said you would love me forever,
But you don’t plan on living very long,
So that’ll mean nothing
When I’m one hundred
And you are decades gone.

I had a dream that you were drunk and throwing up and maybe dying.
Should have turned you over so you would be on your side but
Scared to death and frozen, I just lay there watching.
I know it’s my fault.

I read in the news your dad and brother found your body
When I close my eyes late at night I see it clearly
Paras lay the bag, your wailing dad, over your body.
I know it’s my fault.

I spent the next six months in psychotic denial.
Calling all your friends every night to check up on you.
If they didn’t answer, I would drive to see you laying
Face up, stiff, and blue.

You said you would love me forever,
But you don’t plan on living very long,
So that’ll mean nothing
When I’m one hundred
And you are decades gone.