Star Trek Rap Battle - Picard vs Kirk

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HUGE Thanks to the McAuliffe Space Center for letting us film there!
http://spacecenter.alpineschools.org/

Music and Vocals Mixed with Marcus Joseph, Encore:
   / Канал  

Lighting rented from Underfunded Films. They’re AMAZING:
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Picard: Zack Nelson
   / jerryrigeverything  

Data: Eric Allan Hall
Spot: Animatronic Spot Replica

Kirk: David Eff Peterson
https://usemysongs.com/

Spock: Keith Allen

Creator/Director: Keith Allen
Producers: Keith Allen, Scott Knopf
Writer: Scott Knopf
Cinematography: Keith Allen, Nate Bonham
Gaffe/Lighting: Keith Allen
Production Design: Keith Allen and McAuliffe Space Center
Music Production: Keith Allen and Marcus Joseph
Editor: Keith Allen
Costumes: Cosplayers themselves, and online purchasing
Production Assistants: Emily Bean, Nate Bonham

This video is sponsored by Genera Games’ “Star Trek: Wrath of Gems” mobile app game


LYRICS:
Picard (Round 1)

Kirk and Spock, that’s the best that they got?
I’d rather battle with Bones, battle Montgomery Scott
You better keep'em around, they’re everything that you’re not
Your bars are Delta Vega cold—mine are Earl Grey hot
And who’d you’d have to-pay for that stupid toupee?
Lookin’ like a Tribble and I don’t mean in a good way
I got the bigger ship and all my enemies are better
Khan had a bob and a scoop-neck sweater
Take him to class, hope this dope can learn this
He’s jealous ‘cause he never learned the Vulcan nerve pinch
This is not a game…don’t ever rap again
Keep your Wrath of Khan, I’m playing Wrath of Gems
You killed Edith Keeler…that’s no misdemeanor
You stopped McCoy from grabbing her in time when he’d seen her
You let the truck hit her, then you tried to forget her
She had a family! But you wouldn’t have saved them either

Kirk (Round 1)

Your chrome-dome has no need for combs
Time for you to go, ‘cause I’m reclaiming the throne
You’re playing pretend, you’re a couple of clones
You’re not Dixon Hill…you’re not Sherlock Holmes
You playing Wrath of Gems, you better pace yourself
‘Cause it’s not the only time you ever played yourself
What you need to bear in mind is me and this bald guy
This small fry, go back even further than his hairline
My ship…runs at warp speed
Your ship…only runs at Worf speed
I talk a lot of trash but I’m only speaking the truth
Can’t be scared of a nerd who’s always playing the flute
I’ll make a Chinese food joke and you cannot stop me
No take-out…but you had beef with Broccoli
Your combat skills are way less than respectable
If you had battled Barclay he’d turn you to a vegetable

Picard (Round 2)

Captain’s Log: I’m rippin’ the mic
Thirty seconds with this guy, I’m missin’ Christopher Pike
You’re morbid, you’re merely focused on scorin’
Flirting with the Hortas while you should have been explorin’
Every time you boarded, you courted something contorted
Skin always distorted, these creatures were looking horrid
Tales so sordid but these girls weren’t gorgeous
You dated ladies with faces lookin’ like Worf’s forehead
When it comes to leading, Kirk, you’re no expert
And when it comes to feelings, Kirk, yours gon’ get hurt
You crack under the pressure—you never put in the effort
Your crew chipped in and bought you this red shirt, Kirk
Switch gears, you might have been pioneers
But me and my rhymes are on-point like Spock ears
Phaser set to “KILL,” don’t make me spark this
Or you’ll end up like the carcass of David Marcus

Kirk (Round 2)

Captain’s Log? Why’d you go and spoil it?
Your “Captain’s Log” should get flushed down the toilet
When you were fourteen, I bet you looked like you’re were forty
If you’re not on the bridge, I’d bet that you be where the Borg be
Traitor. Hater. Kirk impersonator
Bet you didn’t see this coming in your battle simulator
I’ma hit him with a hard left like a car wreck
Get off my starship you “taaaaaar-keck”
I’d had Spock…kidnap Spot
You wanna see that cat again? Well, anything can happen, kid
Now he’s got quite a poker face but I can tell you’re panicking
Unravelin’, explain it to that extravagant mannequin
It’s better to be lucky than good
Just look at my record, I got lucky more than you ever could or ever would
Jean-Luc, I’ma bid you “adieu"
‘Cause I could beat you with just one letter: Q