Скачать или смотреть 🇺🇦 Trench Diary #45 ☠️ Digging Positions Under Drones ~ 4 days after being wounded by a 120mm mortar

🇺🇦 Wounded, four days later: Return to Trench life… thirty seconds of 'peace' in position.

Here, four days after MedEvac from being 0.01 picometres from a 120mm mortar shockwave during precise artillery fire: I was blind in one eye, with brain haemorrhages, damaged cerebral cortex and parietal lobe, monocular vision and myopia, amblyopia, hemianopia, astigmatism, diffuse axonal damage, left-sided pyramidal insufficiency and left-sided visual loss… still, I worked afterwards, and I will do again after my eye surgery. Sick of being shelved and doing nothing of any usefulness. I went to Ukraine and volunteered for free for the first year I was there… 2022-24 I was useful: the last half of 2024-25, nihil, just awaiting treatment, sent back to my unit and then left to rot, dizzy delirious. But my best days are still ahead of me.

The best days are still ahead… always. My brother Bonsai once counselled me with the best advice ever: stop being so emotional, be strictly functional.

It is the best advice I ever ignored!

But emotions can get you to the dance… rage can drive you, even if it is junky, trashy fuel that ultimately burns out the engines. Life is competitive, and there's plenty of vile sadistic animals in our merciless monkey farm of a world.

Something can only destroy you if you let it… my neurologists and psychologists here say I need to stay in treatment, that my quality of life will be greatly diminished, that I badly damaged myself (in brain health, eyesight and nervous system) by continuing to fight for two months following 'tyazhky poronennya' (severe wounds) and that chances of restoring my vision are limited… but fook that… a little stubbornness and stoicism won't go amiss, and if you're too highly charged and emotional to be stoic, then let your rage and bile and anger drive you to resurrection… revive, rise, unleash. I'll annihilate these fears, I will set fire to these tears.

To thine own self be true.

Anyway, before I ramble longer than a Leonard Cohen song on k€tamine:

A 'Moment of peace' (for thirty seconds…) combat in the Serebryansky forest, near Kreminna, Luhansk region of the Donbas, Ukraine.

#combat
#ukraine
#russia