Week 4 of an 8-week class designed to help Christians in their desire for transformation into the image of Christ. The material is taken from both the bible and the writings of John and Paula Sandford, founders of Elijah House Ministries. Partial transcript can be found below.
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Ezekiel 36:26
“I will give you a new heart and
put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone
and give you a heart of flesh.”
In order for us to have true fellowship
with others and with God, He has to pierce or melt our hearts of stone.
n our fallen condition, we are like
medieval knights in armor, peering
out through slits in our helmets.
To best understand how hearts of stone
relate to inner vows, think of the
heart of stone as a walled fortress.
Life goes on inside,
but access is very limited
and well-guarded.
Those who persevere, wanting to
minister to the pain and loneliness inside, often find their
scaling ladders roughly pushed away from the walls.
Some may even be invited in but,
when they get too close, they will be thrown from the wall and barred
from the real life inside.
Inner vows, on the other hand,
are the armor we wear in the hope
it will protect and empower us.
Since, however, it was forged from
judgments, it chafes constantly and attracts more hurt and abuse.
Vows we make currently also affect us, but an
inner vow is one set into us as children, usually forgotten.
Our inner being persistently retains such programming
no matter what changes of mind and heart may later pertain.
The distinctive mark of an inner vow is that it resists
the normal maturing process.
Inner vows resist change;
we do not grow out of them.
Like the programming of a clock on a
stove, they may not kick on
until the time set by the vow.
They may rest totally forgotten
and dormant, until triggered by
the right persons or situations.
Having forgotten them, we are unaware they
exist or could have any effect.
They affect us like a railroad track affects a train.
The conscious mind may be a very good engine,
but it can run only on the track of the inner vow set for it in childhood.
No matter which way the engineer may desire to go,
the train will not change direction unless someone switches tracks.
Boys soon learn that mothers
have memories like elephants.
They discover that “whatever you
say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
Often whatever emotion that hangs
out noticeably, good or bad,
will be used by mama to control.
So, boys learn to hide from their mothers.
The less she knows the better.
Whatever she knows may be hauled up
for criticism or scolding –
weeks, months, or years later.
Though all this is normal, sometimes
the situation is so tense or the
reaction so vehement, the lad forms a most obstinate inner vow:
“Never share what you really feel with a woman.
It’s not safe.”
Later in life, when chromosomes and
hormones change a boy’s aversion to girls,
he may want to share, and find himself unable.
Most likely he may find it easy to
communicate with girls –
UNTIL HE MARRIES!
Marriage puts the woman in position to
trigger in him inner vows
made relative to such primary females.
Frequently couples have come for
counseling, perplexed by the fact that they had good communication
until the honeymoon.
Now her complaint is:
“He won’t tell me anything anymore.”
In no way does he know that
his inner being has no intention to share what is really on his heart.
Unknown to him or her, an earlier programming has kicked into action.
Even if he hears his wife and is wounded
and perplexed about his inability
to be vulnerable to her,
… on his own, he may not be able to change his heart to open and share.
He may repent a dozen times, only to return automatically to the pattern.
The problem is that his repentances
in the present concerning his wife
…cannot overcome
the earlier programming
of the vow concerning his mother.
The repentance is real,
but for the wrong sin –
The repentance and prayer needed is
for childhood resentments towards his mother (or other primary females)
and for the breaking inner vow(s)
he set into his being.
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