A-853 (Spanish-American encounter recapped by a Russian Americanist Mikhail Zadornov)

A recently declassified account of the morbid incident that took place off Spain coast involving the US carrier striking force on a mission in the Mediterranean. A routine radio-communication session, intercepted and deciphered by the Russian surveillance facilities clandestinely deployed in the region, had nearly triggered a major crisis and even an all-out war between the NATO allies.

English/Español subtitles

Spanish-American talks registered at a marine distress frequency.

Spanish: A-853 is speaking. Please, turn 15 degrees South to avoid collision with us. You're heading straight for us. The distance is only 25 nautical miles.

Americans: The Master of the United States Ship is speaking. We advise YOU to turn 15° to avoid the collision with US.

Spanish: We deem your instruction impossible and inadequate, and we advise you to turn 15° South so as not to ram into us.

Americans: Richard James Howard, the Commander of the USS 'Lincoln', the aircraft carrier, the second largest vessel of the US Navy, is speaking. We're escorted by 2 cruisers, 6 jet-fighters, 4 submarines and the task force support fleet. Now I'm not advising you, I'm ordering you to alter your course by 15° North. Otherwise, we'll have to take all the necessary measures to ensure the safety of our ship. Back off our course!

Spanish: Juan Manuel Sales Alcanara is speaking to you. 2 men here. We're escorted by a dog, a supper, 2 bottles of beer. We're supported by a canary-bird, which is sleeping right now. We're not going to turn off elsewhere due to the fact that we are stationed on land and that we are a lighthouse.

We've no idea what is our measurement rating among Spanish lighthouses. You may take all your facking measures for your safety, but, should you fail to turn off, your facking lincoln shall break against our rocks.
/way to go, Spanish!/

Conversación entre Españoles y Americanos
Frequencia de radio -- Emergencia marítima
Españoles: Les habla el A-853, por favor, desvíen su rumbo 15° sur para evitar colisionarnos. Se aproximan directo hacia nosotros, distancia 25 millas náuticas.
Americanos: Al habla el capitán de un navio de los Estados Unidos de América. Insistimos, desvíen ustedes su curso 15° norte para evitar colisión.
Españoles: No lo consideramos factible ne conviente, les sugerimos qe desvíen su rumbo 15° sur para evitar colisiarnos.
Americanos: Les habla el capitan Richard James Howard, al mando del portaaviones "Lincoln", de la Marina de los EE.UU, el segundo más grande de la flota norteamericana. Nos escoltan 2 acorazados, 6 aviones de caza, 4 submarinos su embarcaciones de apoyo. No les sugiero, les ordeno, desvíen su curso 15° norte, o nos veremos obligados a tomar las medidas necesarias para garantizar la seguridad de este buque, obedezcan immediatamente y apártense de nuestro camino.
Españoles: Les abla Juan Manuel Salas Alcántara, somos dos personas, nos escoltan: nuestro perro, nuestra comida, 2 cervezas y su embarcaciones de un canario que ahora está durmiendo. No los dirigimos a ningún lado, ya que les hablamos desde tierra firme, estamos en el faro.
No tenemos la más ..... idea en que puesto estamos en el ranking de faros españoles, pueden tomar las medidas que consideren oportunas y les dé la gana para garantizar la seguridad, que se va a hacer hostias contra las rocas.
/¡Bravo, españoles!/