First Dance - Brandi Carlile The Story

September 3rd 2022, Meredith and Alex

You knew it was gonna be Brandi Carlile! We wanted our first dance to be to The Story, but it’s a really hard song to dance to. Especially for two people who don’t dance. So we kicked around some other ideas but none of them felt right. In a moment of desperation about 14 days ago, we found a dance choreographed to Tennessee Whiskey and played it over Brandi. It worked. So we spent 15-20 hours over the next 10 days working our way through a 5 part online dance course that we bought from a Polish dance website. Despite being the smaller human, I had to assume the lead role because, well, Alex has no ear for music or rhythm. Quite often including once during this dance, I would look at her as I was silently counting to 8 only to see her mouth a number that was 1-2 off and off beat from the step I knew we were on.

If you are gay and have had the experience of coming out, you know that there are a thousand little moments, people, songs, shows, and experiences that contribute to the feeling of safety and courage required to do it. I first heard Brandi Carlile on the Grey’s Anatomy soundtrack around 2005. Immediately it was a different feeling than other musicians. I bought all her albums to date and found out a short time later that she was gay, which only made me a bigger fan. I got really into Tegan and Sara around this time too. Girls singing to and about girls. It was revolutionary. It was life changing.

The Story is a really special song. Especially for two gay women who struggled to come out until we were well into our 20s. Alex and I both lead half-lives, convinced that we could be ok not being who we really were. But that didn’t work for either of us. No surprise.

The opening verse says it best:

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
Oh, but these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you