Let Go Letting Go

Get the Book Self-Importance and Bullshitty (Question Everything): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D9QR6K36

Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DB2SX2NC

For Mentorship: https://www.kkyllean.com/

Experts have found that when emotional pain prevents us from healing from a situation, it is a sign that we are not moving forward in a growth-oriented way.

One of the best ways to heal wounds is to learn lessons from the situation and use them to focus on growth and forward momentum. If we get stuck thinking about what “should have been,” we can become stuck in painful feelings and memories.

If you are trying to move forward after a painful experience but are not sure how to start, here are some tips to help you let go.

Create a positive mantra to counteract painful thoughts. The way you talk to yourself can either move you forward or leave you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you repeat to yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts.

For example, clinical psychologist Carla Manly, PhD, says that instead of getting stuck on saying, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra like, “I’m lucky to be able to find a new path in life—one that’s good for me.”

Do your own work. It’s important to focus on yourself. You have to make the choice to address the pain you’ve experienced. When you think of a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something you’re grateful for.

Practice mindfulness The more we can focus on the present moment, says Lisa Olivera, a licensed marriage and family therapist, the less impact our past or future will have on us.

“When we start practicing being present, our wounds have less control over us and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives,” she adds.

Be kind to yourself If your first reaction to not being able to move past a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion.

Olivera says this means treating ourselves as we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our experience and that of others.

“Pain is inevitable, and we may not be able to avoid it; however, we can choose to treat ourselves with kindness and love when it comes,” Olivera explains.

Let negative emotions flow If the fear of feeling negative emotions causes you to avoid them, don’t worry—you’re not alone. In fact, Durvasula says that many times people are afraid of feelings like pain, anger, disappointment, or sadness.

Instead of feeling them, people simply try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. “These negative emotions are like rip currents,” Durvasula explains. “Let them flow out of you… It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck,” she adds.