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When you’ve done everything “right”, followed all the self-love advice, worked on yourself, healed, journaled, levelled up. And yet, the love you wanted never showed up. It’s natural to wonder: Why didn’t it work?

In this video, we talk about why self-love was never meant to be a strategy for romantic love, and how mainstream social media has turned self-love into something transactional, performative, and exhausting.

We will unpack:

The TikTok version of self-love and why it leaves so many women feeling disappointed
The difference between loving yourself because you’re worthy vs improving yourself to be chosen
How self-love actually changes dating
Why self-acceptance matters more than self-optimisation
And what real self-love gives you, even when romantic love isn’t guaranteed

Self-love doesn’t promise you the perfect relationship.But it does ensure that whatever love you choose won’t require you to abandon yourself.