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📰 FBN Breaking News: In what is quite possibly the most tragic turn of events since the Great Owl-Beetle War of '89, the beloved Magical Bakery's Moonbeam Muffin Recipe has officially been bastardized. The Magical Union has vowed to fight the ongoing injustice, promising justice for all moonbeam-starved citizens.

Brought to you by the Fantasy Broadcast Network — the only news source covering goblin uprisings, necromancer fraud rings, and magical infrastructure disasters across the Realms.

📢 Reporter: Caelion Duskwatch (AI-voiced via bm_george)
⚔️ Category: food — fast, absurd, and completely factual (probably)

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