"Love Me, I'm a Liberal" (for the 2024 Election) by Ben Grosscup

Love Me, I'm a Liberal
Re-written by Ben Grosscup, October 29, 2024

I mourned the Tiananmen martyrs
Whose protests were brutally quelled
And I cheered when Mandela walked freely
After so many years in a cell
But mister Assange still belongs in prison
Those secrets were not his to tell
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

I attend diversity trainings
And I leave feeling so reassured
I love Oprah and Magic and Foreman
It’s great to see blacks become entrepreneurs
But don’t go and vote third party
That’s not the way to be heard
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

I cheered when Kamala was chosen
My faith in the system restored
And I'll never forgive Ralph Nader
For the election he stole from Al Gore
And my neighborhood welcomes all races
Of people with high credit scores
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

Voters need more education
To achieve Democracy’s aims
Our enemies spread memes in their news feeds
Sowing division and national shame
But if you want socialized healthcare
You really must be insane
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

I listen to All Things Considered
I’d consider anyone’s views
You know, I’ve read DiAngelo and Kendi
And I’m probably more woke than you
But when it comes to the arming of Israel
There’s no one who’s more white and blue
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

I vote for the Democratic Party
They’re strengthening NATO command
I support Bono’s benefit concerts
And buy whatever’s endorsed by his brand
We’re gonna make poverty history!
Posting to Facebook, taking a stand
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

Sure once I was young and impulsive
I wore every conceivable pin
I fought for a socialist future,
Which I actually thought we might win
Ah, but I've grown older and wiser
And that's why I'm turning you in
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

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