Where The Hell Are You? (Rifftrax)

Story: When Kevin emailed me asking for ideas for my Kickstarter song, I had been waffling between a few, but finally decided on one. It occurred to me a while back that directors of cheesy B-movies had a tendency to try to pad out their films by having the characters get separated and spend half an hour wandering around calling each other's name while dodging stock footage of wild animals and white actors playing natives. I thought this might be a good idea for a Journey-style power ballad, especially since Kevin had made it clear that he enjoyed layering harmony tracks in a song. He loved the idea and went to work on it. A couple of months later, I awoke to an early Christmas present, with this file in my inbox. Hope all you fellow MSTie's enjoy. It's classic Kevin Murphy!

Where The Hell Are You?
2014 by Kevin Murphy and Rifftrax. Written and Produced for Jim Rye

(This is the intro to the song
This is where we do ooh's and ah's.
First comes an "ooh," then comes the "ah"
Oooooh, aaaahhh….)

Well, I've been looking for you
Since the first act of this film.
When you were kidnapped by a Nazi or a robot or gorilla doesn't matter,
Cause I'm looking for you still.
But I've become a bit discouraged!
I'd like to move the lot along,
But if your nemesis keeps moving from his castle to his cavern to his condo
Babe, I have no choice but to sing this song:

Where the hell are you?
Where the hell are you?
I keep stumbling through these sets and this stock footage
And I've got better things to do…
Than spend this movie finding you

GTR SOLO
(This is the solo on guitar.
We don't think it's very good
We think we're better, wait till you hear our
Na-na's!)

Well now we're almost at the climax,
When you finally appear
And you're surrounded by some white guys playing bogus angry natives
Yelling gibberish and waving rubber spears

But I'm past the point of caring!
My motivation's pissed away
I'm gonna swim back to that island with the ladies in the sexy fur bikinis,
And you can look for me, and be the one to say:

Where the hell are you?
Where the Holy Hell are you?
I'd have more luck if I was looking for a decent meal at Arby's
But now it's too late, call the chase off, here come the na-na's!

(Na-na-na, etc… Keep listening, 'cos Kevin's a nut!)