Why Your Ex Isn't Responding To Your Texts (And What To Do)

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Why Your Ex Isn’t Responding To Your Texts (And What To Do)

In this video were going to talk about;
-Why your ex isn’t responding to your text messages
-What goes through their heads when they don’t respond
-How to get them to respond to your text messages

What I find interesting is when I take on a client and I ask them, what is their goal. They often set these gigantic lofty unreachable goals, I want to get my ex back and then get him to marry me. I want to get my ex back and have him move in together, their first goal should be to have a conversation with your ex.

First were going to look at why your ex isn’t responding to your text messages

Reason #1 – Lack of a reset factor
For those of you who don’t know I am a big proponent of the No Contact rule, but I think it has all sorts of far reaching ramifications that you don’t even realise. So, one of the big reasons we see exes not responding to text messages is because you have been undisciplined and reached out immediately after the break up, because you either want closure or you want to talk, or you are feeling bad and you think they can make you feel better.

Reason #2 – You have the eye roll factor
One of my most cherished acronyms is that of the G.N.A.T. going nuts at texting. So, when you go nuts at texting, you create what I like to call the eye roll factor. You know what it is because you will have done it to someone in your life, it’s like this cycle of gnatting I guess.

Reason #3 – Your text messages suck
It is always astounding how unprepared people are for this break up process when it comes to text messages and I suppose if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Throughout our relationship one of the reasons we can break up is that we become a little complacent with how things are. We’re used to certain behavioural patterns, conversational patterns, the way we reach out to each other. It can get a little bit stale.

What is going through their mind when they do not reply

Thought #1 – This isn’t that enjoyable of a conversation
I’m in the middle of a conversation with a friend about what is going on in the world, and at some point, in the conversation I realised this was boring and I was wasting my time. I just didn’t want to text anymore, so I just ended conversation there and didn’t respond. This is so important to understand that when you are trying to get your ex back, that you need to have conversations that can continually keep them engaged.

Thought #2 – I don’t have time. I’m too busy
This is why I'm often telling my clients make sure you are aware of the time you are texting your ex. If you know for a fact he is not going to be allowed or have time to engage in a proper conversation. There is no point trying to have a long all-day type conversation.

Thought #3 – All our conversations ever evolved into is drama
While we like watching drama and stories we do not like experiencing it in our lives. If all your ex associates you with is drama it is not a good thing. Where all your conversations at the end all about drama. This can be a prime reason as to why they are not responding.

What to do, to get them to respond, to your text messages?
There is a certain frame work that we have developed over the years that we’ve seen work wonders for our clients, but it is important that you understand the framework is not to be followed to a tee, it is important that you are able to adapt.

Whenever you want to have a conversation with your ex, there are three things you want to do
#1 – Try to find a way to get your ex to respond to your initial text
#2 – Allow conversations to unfold organically
#3 – You end the conversation first

And this is where the H.I method comes into play, standing for Hook and Interest
Looking at the hook, is something that your ex is going to look at and not do an eye roll. And it will make him want to response just because of the hook. Often, we find that pattern interrupt to make him want to respond, here are some examples.

I have a confession to make
You won’t believe what just happened to me
I have a problem, but only really trust you for an answer

All of these examples are perfect hooks, next you need to extend a conversation this is where interest comes into play. We have found that clients who spoke about their ex's interests were having a lot more success throughout the texting process.

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