Tudor Rap!

The story of Henry VIII and his six wives as told in rap by our daughter and some of her friends.

Awarded FOUR STARS at BIAFF 2015 and Runner Up in the NTRIAC Annual Movie Competition 2014

This film has been shown at many schools throughout the UK as a fun way to supplement lessons about the Tudors. Some schools have even performed Tudor Rap at assemblies.

If you show this at your school or perform it, please leave a note in the comments below. If you'd like a copy of the backing, drop me a message.

Tudor Rap!
Lyrics by Martine, Elise & Tim Stannard
© Tim & Martine Stannard 2013

[Queens]
Born in 1491, Henry Tudor’s second son,
Lots of wives and lots of fun,
This is the story of Henry.
Divorced, beheaded, sadly died.
Divorced, beheaded,

[Catherine Parr]
“I survived”.

[Queens]
Six times the know was tied.
We all were married to Henry.

[Henry]
Well, I got my hose and I got my breeches, I got my bling and I got my riches.
I wear this crown upon my head. I’ll sit on the throne until I’m dead.

[ Catherine of Aragon ]
I am the first of Henry’s queens. I had to marry him in his teens.
To my king I brought no joy because our heir was not a boy.
Princess Mary, she survived but all our other children died.
So, I was divorced against my will and the total number of sons was nil.

[Queens]
Of all the people in history, the most famous monarch was Henry

[Anne Boleyn]
My name is Anne of the Boleyn fame. I tried to play King Henry’s game.
I enjoyed the glitz and I drank the fizz. I became the mother of the future queen Liz.
In a chapel we were secretly wed, but I lost my heart and I lost my head.

[Henry]
All my wives I was great at ditchin’. I even started a new religion.
At fencing and tennis I was really ace. On horseback I could win any race.
I could joust, compose and my muscles were tight.
I could wield a sword and win any fight.

[Jane Seymour]
My name is Jane; Anne’s lady in waiting. Henry and me, we started dating.
I became his favourite wife, but before too long I lost my life.
I gave him a son, a prince named Ed. Weak and ill and eventually dead.

[Henry]
Alas, her life they could not save, She’s the only wife to share my grave.

[Queens]
Of all the people in history, the most married monarch was Henry.

[Anne of Cleves]
I’m Anne of Cleves, the “Flanders Mare”. For my looks he did not care.
We got on well but there was no romance. So as for children: not a chance!
The marriage soon would run its course – a second ending I divorce.

[Henry]
Her profile pic was really hot, but in real life, hmm, she was not.

[Catherine Howard]
I’m the second Catherine of the three. Henry really wanted me.
But I was young, and he was old and fat. I really had enough of that.
Yet again a queen’s head falls. My ghost goes haunting Hampton’s halls.

[Queens]
Of all the people in history. the fattest monarch was Henry
[Henry]
My legs have boils, ulcers, gout. It really makes me scream and shout.
All this eating means my figure gets bigger and bigger and bi-bi-bi-bi-bigger

[Catherine Parr]
For richer, for poorer; for better or worse. I was the one to break the curse.
I lived to see another day, because King Henry passed away.
No divorce and I kept my head. I nursed his ills til he was dead.

[Queens]
Henry died at 55 because he ate too many pies.
At Windsor Castle with Jane he lies.
And that was the story of Henry.