Complaining Isn't Conversation

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Please note, that I have been this person and sometimes still am. I know first hand that it's a tough thing to fix, so don't be too hard on yourself!

In this video we cover types of complainers, how to identify them, how to handle them, and some general tips on dealing with them. We also cover the idea that if you were the one committing the complaining, how to recognize is, and conquer this terrible behavior.

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TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Start
00:17 Example
00:50 Types of Complainers
00:52 The Chronic Complainer
01:58 The Venter
03:48 The Conversationalist
05:59 The Problem with Them
07:25 How to Identify them
07:39 Frequency
07:59 Reaction
08:36 Stay Logical
09:08 Are they contributing
09:38 What to do about them
09:43 Don't complain about them
09:59 Walk away
10:18 Stay Positive
11:08 Challenge them
11:43 Omit the emotions
12:03 What if it's you
12:11 Mindfulness
12:52 Observing ego
13:29 Backpedal
14:05 Announce the venting
14:47 Remember the negatives
14:49 Never gripe down
15:33 Saying is experiencing
15:58 People dislike complainers
16:12 Final Thoughts
17:35 Who am I

Some references:
Alicke, M., Braun, J., Glor, J., Klotz, M., Magee, J., Sederholm, H. & Siegel, R. (1992). Complaining behavior in social interaction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 286-295.

Kowalski, R. M. (1996). Complaints and complaining: Functions, antecedents, and consequences. Psychological Bulletin, 119(2), 179-196.

Kowalski, R. M., Allison, B., Giumetti, G.W., Turner, J., Whittaker, E., Frazee, L. & Stephens, J. (2014). Pet Peeves and Happiness: How Do Happy People Complain? Journal of Social Psychology, 154.

Wojciszke, B., Baryla, W., Szymkow-Sudziarska, A., Parzuchowski, M. & Kowalczyk, K. (2009). Saying is experiencing: Affective consequences of complaining and affirming. Polish Psychology Bulletin, 40, 74-84.


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