Contempt: The Sulfuric Acid of Love | Dr. John Gottman's 4 Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

Today we’re going to talk about the 3nd Horseman of the Marriage Apocalypse… contempt.

Dr. Gottman calls contempt the sulfuric acid of love.

Needless to say, contempt is frickin’ dangerous if it’s present in your relationship. So pay attention to this post, because I’m going to teach you how to deal with contempt when it shows up, and then set up protections to prevent it from ever creeping back in!

Contempt is dangerous because it robs the relationship of equality and mutual respect.

When a partner is acting out of contempt, they are putting themselves above the other person.

Contempt is making yourself smart, and your partner an idiot.

It’s making yourself right, and your partner a moron for even thinking they could be right.

It’s making yourself the good one, or clean one, or punctual one, or considerate one, or helpful one, or thoughtful one... and then making your partner the wrongest, messiest, most inconsiderate and least helpful person around.

Contempt is putting yourself above your partner.

It’s making them feel small, unimportant or less-than in some way.

A typical sign that you’re being contemptuous is if you’re using weapons like name-calling, swearing, belittling, demeaning comments, mocking, or eye-rolling to get your way or prove a point.

Contempt is usually caused by the buildup of frustration and resentment over time. It creeps into the relationship slowly, then explodes and does serious damage.

Nothing will destroy your relationship faster than contemptuous behavior.

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#Contempt #FourHorsemen #JohnGottman
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