SARGASSO // EELS (Sabrina Carpenter Parody) | A Capella Science

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Sources and Media Attributions: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y...

LYRICS

Now he's
Thinking bout eels every night oh
How they might breed a hassle
Circled in streams, where they die low
That's that sea Sargasso
Where are they from, where do they go
When they migrate en masse oh
Where the seaweeds gather and grow
That's that sea Sargasso

These anguillae and their procreation
Have been the source of such frustration
Cause until Sigmund Freud did a mass-dissection
Their family jewels had escaped detection

No sign of sex in river water
Yellow but they turn silver on a
Mission to mother Oceana

(NEVER TO RETURN NO)

Bloodless the crystal little larva
Float round, a Dane named Schmidt went on a
Sea quest obsessed to catch 'em smaller

Now he's

Thinking bout eels every night oh
Is he loopy? perhaps so
Nineteen years, tracking their growth
To the sea Sargasso
When they get round, then they find home
See-through, clear like glass oh
Swimmin' upstream, yet they might know
Of that sea Sargasso

Little cutie is that so?

These anguillae, when they get silver
Their guts decay so no more dinner
Though their bits ain't mature they can be awoken
With shots of human gonadotropin

But no human yet has ever caught a
Mature one in Atlantic water
No sign of egg, no milt upon it

(FOUND ONE FROM JAPAN THO)

After the trek this eel's a goner
So let's attach a tracker on her
Space age a sat might catch a spawner

Now we're
Thinking bout eels
Every night oh
Satellite tag on lasso
When they get free
Will they find home
In the sea Sargasso?
Moving up, down
Counter the sun
Eighteen months may pass oh
Telemetry
What does it show
That's that sea Sargasso

Yeah, so now we know where the eel go
The details concealed tho
We've failed to reveal eel mating and the
Proof in the puddin' nobody can make em breed no
Eel farms get the glass ones swimming up
Pick em up captive and you bring em up
Feminize with estradiols
Otherwise they're all undersized, male when you check em up
Hormones induce vitellogenesis
Means egg production but it's hit or miss
We lack key facts
High mortality, poor leptocephalus
And the trouble is
These eels have declined ninety percent
Can't be sure why but dioxins and parasites are likely new contaminants
Humanity's fault and they need defense so

Don't be afraid to hatch eels
(Don't be afraid to hatch these eels)
Yolked up for their first fills
(Jelly-like, no erythrocytes up in their gills no)
We're mimicking their plankton poop meals
(A GUT FULL O' ROTIFERS AND SHARK YOLK FOR ME)
Baby I know you ain't scared to hatch eels
(One more time now!)
Eels with me

(A)
Thinking bout eels
Every night oh
When they mature at last oh
Is it the deep
Or the pheremone
In the sea Sargasso
Finally found
One full-grown
Look at this pregnant fatso

(B)
Don't be afraid to love eels
Find their way with earth's fields
(navigating to the sea sargasso)
A highly pregnant one with nascent roe

Maybe the key
To a new dawn
On the sea Sargasso

Maybe they'll breed at last oh
Oh, outside of the sea Sargasso