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"Your Response is Your Responsibility" - by Greg Otterholt

"Their action...
doesn't dictate your reaction.

Their uncivilized behavior...
doesn't excuse your ill-matched incivility.

and their fault...
doesn't make your response faultless.

Your Response
is YOUR Responsibility!"

copyright Hook & Pan Productions
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Lesson Title: "The Power of Your Response"
Emotional Intelligence | Character | Wisdom | Accountability

While we can’t always control what happens to us, we are always responsible for how we respond. This encourages critical thinking, emotional self-control, and integrity in conflict.

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves everyone blind and toothless. Fighting fire with fire is occasionally required but it's usually more productive and smarter to fight fire with water.

1. Reaction vs. Response
Reaction is instant. It’s emotional, often unfiltered.
Response is thoughtful. It’s intentional and rooted in values.

🧠 Reactions are driven by impulse.
🧭 Responses are driven by character.

2. Responsibility Doesn’t Mean Blame
You’re not responsible for what others say or do. But you are responsible for what you say or do next.

Example:
Someone insults you in public.
You could fire back and try to "win."
But then what? You both lose respect, and nothing gets solved.

What if you chose instead to keep your cool, walk away, or speak calmly?
That’s strength. That’s control. That’s leadership.

3. Justified Doesn’t Always Mean Wise
Sure, maybe you’re “justified” in being angry or snapping back.
But does that mean it’s the right move?

💥 A response that feels good in the moment can cause regret later.
🎯 A response that takes strength in the moment often leads to respect and growth.

Example:
Someone posts something negative about you online.
Your best friend betrays your trust.
What’s the typical reaction to this?

What would a mature response look like?
What would show that “your response is your responsibility”?

“Their action... does it dictate your reaction?”
→ When we say “they made me do it,” are we giving away our power?

“Their uncivilized behavior... does it excuse your ill-matched incivility?”
→ Can we maintain our own standards, even when others don’t?

“If it’s their fault… does that make your response faultless?”
→ Even when we’re not to blame, is our response blameless?

“What kind of person do you want to be in the hard moments?”
Strong? Calm? Wise? Kind?
Then start practicing that—because how you respond, especially when it’s hard, is what grows and shapes who you become.




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Children's Level lesson: "My Response Is My Responsibility"
Objective:
To help children understand that no matter what others do, we are always responsible for how we choose to act. This teaches emotional control, accountability, & kindness.

Opening Story:
Once upon a time, there was a kid named Alex who was really excited about getting ice cream after school. Alex had been kind all day—helped a friend, finished their work, and even remembered to say “thank you” to the lunch lady.

But when they got to the ice cream shop, a kid from another class cut in line, knocked into Alex, and made them drop their ice cream.

What should Alex do?

Yell and push the kid back?
Cry and run away?
Take a deep breath and use their words?

Big Idea:
"Your Response Is YOUR Responsibility."

Let’s break this down:

1. "Their action... does it dictate your reaction?"
That means: Just because someone does something wrong, does that mean you have to do something wrong too? Do two wrongs make a right?

🗯️ If someone yells at you, do you have to yell back?
😠 If someone is mean, do you automatically have to be mean too?

Nope. You always have a choice.
You’re not anyones robot who automatically reacts when people push your buttons. You can stop, breathe, and choose your reaction.

2. "Their uncivilized behavior... does it excuse your ill-matched incivility?"
Let’s say: Just because someone is rude or disrespectful, does that make it okay for you to be rude back?

🚫 Rudeness doesn't cancel rudeness.
✅ Kindness can break the cycle of rudeness.

3. "And if it's their fault... does that make your response faultless?"
You can't control what others do. But you can always control you.

Closing Reflection:
We all get upset sometimes. We all get treated unfairly sometimes. But we always have a superpower: CHOICE. When you remember that your response is your responsibility, you become a leader, a guiding light, and a person others want to follow.

I choose kindness, even when others are unkind.
I choose respect, even when others are rude.
I choose peace, even when others push conflict.
Because MY RESPONSE is MY RESPONSIBILITY.