Скачать или смотреть Nishmat Kol Chai : Ahavya Halevy: A synopsis of Rochel Silber's class

Erev Tov, I had the privilege of sharing on the Nishmat Kol Chai Zoom following up on the shiur from yesterday. We ended with a Tefilla and I am sharing here,
feel free to share.

https://chat.whatsapp.com/CUyjN929td1...

Stepping into Ahava
Ahavya Halevy

Abba,
Ribono Shel Olam,

You loved me before I knew how to love You.
אהבת עולם.
An eternal love.
A hidden love.
A love that was there before I opened my eyes this morning.
You wake me.
You breathe life into me.
You wait for me.
And I forget.
I run into the world of עשיה,
into the noise,
into the doing,
into the smallness of my worries.
But You are still loving me.
Hashem…
teach me how to love You back.
You created love so that I could climb back to You with it.
Every love I feel.
Every longing.
Every ache for closeness.
It is really my soul searching for You.

אבינו מלכנו
You are my Father who loves me unconditionally.
You are my King who holds all power.
When I feel alone,
remind me that you are with me.
אני איתך
When I feel afraid,
remind me that you are with me,
אני איתך
ותן בליבי בינה
Place in my heart understanding.
Help me understand You.
Help me listen.
Help me learn.
Help me live what I learn.

Hashem,
Please help me live what I learn.
Help me guard what is holy.
Help me do.
Help me fulfill.
Help me sustain.
Let my Torah not be information.
Let it be connection.
Let it be love.
Ribbono Shel Olam,
Give me the courage to give to You.
Because I know the secret
love grows where there is giving.
Let every mitzvah be my gift to You.
Let every bracha be a whisper of affection.
Let every struggle be a thread tying me closer.
And when I feel nothing
when my heart is closed
when the words feel dry
Hashem,
Love me through it.
Remind me that even then
You are whispering,
I have loved you with an everlasting love.

Place me between אהבת עולם
and ואהבת
Between Your love for me
and my love for You.
Let my Tefilla not be habit.
Let it be fire.
Let me know before Whom I stand.
Close.
So close.
Etzelcha.
Near You.


My precious child,
Mein Tierkind
You speak to Me as if I am far.
But I have never moved.
Before your lips formed the words,
before your heart knew the longing,
I was already here.
I am the One who placed that yearning inside you.
When you wake in the world of doing,
when you rush into the noise,
when you forget
I do not turn away.
I watch you with tenderness.
Ahavat Olam.
You call it eternal love.
You do not yet know how eternal.
There has never been a moment
since your soul was created
that I was not loving you.

There has never been a moment
since your soul was created
that I was not loving you.

There has never been a moment
since your soul was created
that I was not loving you.
Not in your confusion.
Not in your distance.
Especially not there.
You wonder how to love Me back.
Do you know how I feel your love?
When you try.
When you whisper a bracha half-awake.
When you hold back one harsh word.
When you sigh and say, Hashem…
even without finishing the sentence.
When you think you feel nothing
I feel everything.
Every mitzvah you do,
every small act of giving,
every time you choose softness instead of hardness
you are giving to Me.
And I receive it with joy.
You think love grows through giving.
Who do you think taught you that secret?
Every opportunity I send you
is a doorway.
Not a test to break you.
A doorway to bond you to Me.
Avinu.
Yes, I am your Father.
Malkeinu.
Yes, I am your King.
But more than anything
I am the One who cannot bear to lose you.
When your heart feels closed,
do not panic.
Hearts open and close like waves.
My love does not.
When your Tefilla feels like habit,
say it anyway.
I am inside the habit.
I am inside the fire.
I am inside the silence.
You ask to stand close.
אצלי.
You already are.
There is no distance
between us
except the one you imagine.
Lean.
Fall.
Rest.
I am holding you.
Always.

Abba