In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, licensed therapist Kati Morton explains what support a therapist can offer and how to know what we need from them. She also talks about chronic suicidality, dealing with frustration and anger, and why we can feel we are too late for everything we want to do in life. She also discusses how we can come to terms with a new diagnosis.
Audience Questions:
1. Not sure if you’ve ever answered this question, but what does it mean exactly when my therapist asks “what do you need, how can I support you right now?” Especially during a difficult session. This happened recently when I was struggling during trauma work and I had no idea what to say when she asked, or what my options were exactly. My mind kind of went to places I wasn’t sure made sense, like if we could stop and she could maybe read to me or just sit next to me or near me in silence or put her hand on my back or something. Even though we have an amazing rapport, I wasn’t comfortable enough to admit these were what came to mind in the moment because of the anxiety that followed about not knowing if that’s what she “meant” by asking what I needed. Thanks Kati, I hope you’ve been well. 00:45
2. Could you talk a bit about chronic suicidality? I know it’s a heavy subject but I have found there is very little information out there about starting to address or manage it. Thoughts of ending my life are comforting to me and I find I automatically go there in response to any uncomfortable or upsetting thoughts. As a result these thoughts can be almost constant. As much as they help me, I know they are unhealthy to rely on so much.... 04:56
3. I have a question about frustration or rather anger. I’ve recently started therapy and in my last session I brought up the fact I was abused as a teenager… I had never told anyone about it until then. At the end of the session she told me that I may find I have a mix of emotions and possibly questions before our next session. She asked me to write them down and we could look at it when I see her again. I did have a lot of feelings, thoughts and questions so as she suggested I grabbed a pen and paper. I went to write stuff down but just felt this sudden anger, like really angry and I just gripped my pen and scribbled- like a toddler would only with a lot more frustration. It felt so childish. but after... 15:12
4. I would like to ask how can one cope with the feeling of "being too late in life", of having wasted all your life and now being too late to start over. I have failed in all aspects of life (no work, no family, no friends, nothing...) and I do not know where to start, how to find the strength and most important how to restore my "faith", how to stop thinking that the game is over. I was in therapy for many years but with no great results. Currently I need it so much but I do not have the money to support it. Ageism and society's standards do not help either... 22:02
5. I find myself thinking a lot about my therapist in between my sessions, not in a romantic obsessive kind of way, but rather constantly thinking how I can do better and communicate better with her. In my culture, growing up we were never taught about emotions, that they exist, how to pay attention to them, describe them, or deal with them. Parents are authoritative figures who provide all the necessities, have strong influence over all aspects of our lives such as schooling, romance, and career, but may not ever think to ask what we want or what we need. We were not really provided with choices growing up. I didn't really ever pick out my own clothes or food until after I graduated from college and started working. I believe my parents did the best they could given the way they were brought up and given our cultural background. And reading what I just wrote sounds worse than it really was, but... 36:38
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