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In this video, we're going to talk about how to make her want more sex with you. So if you've ever been in a situation where your partner didn't want to have as much sex as you. Or she was just too tired. Or she had a headache and wasn't in the mood for it. And you were left like, hey, what the heck do I do now? I have some solutions for you.
I am Céline Remy, your relationship and intimacy coach, and I'm here to help you bring your sexy back in life. So let's look at this situation where you have a higher libido than she does, and how you can inspire her to want more sexy times with you.
So the very first thing that you can do is to stop pressuring her to have an orgasm every time you guys have sex. I know it might sound like counter-intuitive, but here's the thing if she feels pressured, that she must have an orgasm, every time you have sex, it's going to undermine her desire to want even get started.
There is a direct correlation between her amounts of oxytocin, which is the love hormones in her body, and her ability to have an orgasm.
And what that means is that if she's feeling stressed, her oxytocin levels will be lower, and it's going to be harder for her to feel like she's in the mood or even to reach an orgasm. So let's say she's a little bit tired. And then you're like, hey, let's fool around, let's have sex.
And then she knows that it has to end with her having an orgasm. She doesn't even have it in her to get there. She doesn't have the bandwidth. But if she knows that, it's not about this destination and that it's about creating a good time for both of you. Then she might be more inclined to want to participate.
Now I know this is going to require you to make some changes because you're going to have to rewire your brain and change your mindset. After all, most guys have linked their self worth with their ability to make her come to give her orgasm. And here's a truth bomb for you. Orgasms are not like flowers and chocolates. It's not something that you give to somebody, hey, here's an orgasm.
Orgasm is something that you surrender to and open up. It's something that you give to yourself. So I know you might be thinking well, but I can do this. I'm so good at bed, and it's like I can give her an orgasm.
Well, that's not the truth. She allows herself to get there. Of course, your technique could help her get there, but it's not, ultimately it's not huge. It's her decision, her ability to surrender, to relax, and to let go.
So if you want her to want more sex with you, then help her de-stress.
How about having times where it's just all about her where she can take me time. It is her time to have a bath time to do her hair time to read a book watch a romantic movie call a girlfriend, whatever that looks like give her some time.
If you guys have kids take the kids away, give her some a long time for her to recharge that's going to help her feel more in the mood and just more balanced to one sex. Now, if you want her to want more sex, you also need to give her better sex, and this one falls on you. If the sex that you are having is a sprint from start to finish: that always has to end in ejaculation for you and orgasm for her. There is so much pressure.
And trust me, it's not that fun for us. So I want you to do a reframe there, I want you to think of it more of a marathon, I want you to focus not so much on the destination, but on the journey.
If you can take the pressure off her, and you don't make sex end in ejaculation for you, she might be more interested. Because sex is not so much about wanting sex is also about providing for the other person. So if you are showing up for her and willing to focus on her pleasure, with no expectations that she has to react a certain way or that you have to have a particular set of circumstances happening in your body, then it can become so much more exciting...
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