Скачать или смотреть "I Want to be With a Man": The Guilt of the Trans Widow

In this video, I react to a heart-breaking post from a woman who feels like she is betraying her partner simply because she still wants to be with the man she married. I explore the one-way street of support, where the wife is expected to suppress her own needs, her own orientation, and her own sanity to satisfy her husband's new identity.

I react to a deeply troubling post from a woman who has spent over a decade with her partner, only to find herself walking on eggshells after he came out as trans.

What starts as a story of a woman trying to be accepting and affirming quickly reveals a pattern of what looks like coercive control and emotional neglect. From being told there is "no space" for her feelings to being made to feel guilty for her own sexual orientation, this story is a textbook example of the Ambiguous Loss and silencing that many trans widows face.

Key themes I discuss in this video:

The Meaner Husband: Why personality changes often precede or follow coming out.

The Sex Gap: The psychological toll of being told your physical reality is dysphoric to your partner.

Projection & Narcissism: How partners can turn their own internal struggle into a weapon against their wives.

You Are Not a Betrayer: Why wanting to be with a man (when you married a man) is a valid, healthy boundary.

If you are in a situation where your partner has no space for your feelings, please know that you are not alone and you are not wrong for wanting a two-way relationship.

Contact/Book a Free Consultation: kellyoliverdougall.co.uk I am a UK-based counsellor offering online support for women in these specific family situations.

Please share your thoughts in the comments. Have you experienced this unpredictable behaviour at home?



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I help women work through the issues I talk about on my channel through my counselling private practice.
You can book a free consultation with me at kellyoliverdougall.co.uk/counselling