EP 37: Naked Life Story: Catherine Gray

Catherine Gray is an award-winning writer and editor who found herself consistently drinking a “life-endangering amount of alcohol”. Catherine vulnerably and honestly shares her story with Annie as they discuss her former fears of what a dull sober life might look like and her realization of how sobriety is quite the opposite of dull.

Episode References:
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (http://amzn.to/2mA4TkM)
Catherine’s Website (www.unexpectedjoy.co.uk)
Catherine’s Instagram: @unexpectedjoyof

Catherine’s Book Recommendations:
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (http://amzn.to/2Abuidd)
Unwasted by Sacha Z. Scoblic (http://amzn.to/2DDQaxm)
Kick the Drink..Easily! by Jason Vale (http://amzn.to/2DA5M4T)
Dry by Augusten Burroughs (http://amzn.to/2DmlNh9)
Blackout by Sarah Hepola (http://amzn.to/2DgbyuT)

Welcome
Today I'm here with someone really special. Her name is Catherine Gray and Catherine Gray is the author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. I'm very lucky to have the early edition because I was actually able to give an endorsement for the book in the beginning of this book which was such an honor because Catherine, it's just such a brilliant book and I'm thrilled to have you on the show.

How It All Started
In my 20s, I was a writer and editor for Cosmopolitan and Glamour magazine. It was the coolest job ever.  I could go to free drinks parties every night if I wanted to. And I did want to so I went to them all. I was just your archetypal party girl. I was mostly holding it together at work, getting promoted, doing quite well. Unfortunately, I started falling apart in my late 20s probably while working at Glamour. I'd already started falling apart before that-calling in sick to work, having to tell lies to get out trouble. I was incapable of being faithful to anyone because I was snogging men in blackouts and my friends would tell me afterwards and I would be horrified. I started trying to control alcohol. There was this beautiful golden notebook and I started a unit diary in it.

Controlling Alcohol
My aim in this Golden Notebook was to keep my drinking to just three nights a week and take four nights off. I was really into wine at that point. Later I would switch because I thought wine was the problem, not my drinking. So to keep it under three bottles of wine a week. I thought this is going to do it-this notebook is going to fix my drinking. It was such a bust. It just didn't work at all. Every week I was drinking more than three nights. I was mostly drinking five nights a week. Occasionally I think one week I took three nights off drinking and I was like woohoo, but that was one week out of many many weeks. My intake was sliding out of control. Some weeks I could manage 40 units but most weeks it was 50 units or 60 units.

We Have A Problem
I knew there was a problem. So I stopped keeping the diary. That was my solution and I moved to other ways to try and moderate. I banned going to the free drinks parties and just spent a lot more money on booze. I got a gym membership. My thought was that going to the gym would fix it. It didn't because then I started telling myself that a treat should be wine after the gym and every effort... then I switched to cider because I thought that would be better than wine. And that didn't work either. So it was becoming clear that I wasn't able to moderate. It just wasn't something within my grasp and my drinking was increasing. It was time for a huge change.

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
The first time you do anything sober is the hardest. It just get easier and easier after that. The first time I went to a gig, the first time I went to a birthday party in a pub, the first time I went to a wedding was hard. I mean of course it's hard, I hadn't done it for 21 years, sober. Honestly, I hadn't been to a party sober. So if you look at anything, if you try to suddenly change the way you do something, it's going to be difficult. It would be like trying to write with your left hand if you're right handed. It's just about learning a new skill in a way, learning how to do things sober. For me that meant finding the unexpected joy of being sober.

Keep Listening
Tune into the complete podcast to hear Catherine's full story and how she discovered The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.