Скачать или смотреть Imperfection in Artistry | Human Merely Being

I feel like one of the first lessons most humans learn in kindergarten is that we are not perfect. We are imperfect, fallible, and flawed. And I had this realization at the end of last year - I can intellectually integrate that, but then why in my musical life and creative life do I somehow still seemingly expect perfection and get pretty upset when it's not what I did in the practice room?

I am an imperfect human. My artistry is going to be imperfect. The truth, which is what we say we always aspire to in art and in life, has to be reflective of life, which is imperfect. When we've integrated that, owned that, accepted and celebrated it, that's what makes someone interesting. There are things that are not kosher about Maria Callas' singing at times, but you would never not know that it was her, and it was quite compelling as a result of that.

Anthony Minghella said the worst thing someone could say about a production of Madama Butterfly is that the singing is beautiful, because if they say that they're seeing you, the singer, as separate from the story you're telling. Life is not always beautiful, especially in this context. If it's beautiful, it's not really getting to any of the matter there.

I have not mastered the art of forgiving myself, forgiving my artistry for being imperfect or idiosyncratic. I call it my vocal dysmorphia, and it's a real thing. Yet that's incredibly disrespectful because I apply this belief to everybody else—I'm like, oh no, everyone has a beautiful voice, singing is like prayer, we can all do it. But when it comes to myself, I'm like, why do you even sing? This is embarrassing.

If I truly believe that singing is prayer and everyone has a beautiful voice, I have to start with myself. Everything is ultimately an inside job. And if we don't apply what we truly believe at home, then who's going to take it seriously outside that.

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