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“Just forgive and forget.”


If you grew up in church, you’ve probably heard that phrase more times than you can count. But what happens when “forgive and forget” is used to silence pain, minimize abuse, or rush you past your own healing?


In this episode of Elisha’s Space, counselor and author Elisha gently but honestly unpacks the truth about “forgive & forget” in the church from a trauma-informed, biblical perspective.


We’ll explore:

• Why “If you really forgave, you’d be over it by now” is not biblical or psychologically accurate
• The crucial difference between forgiveness and reconciliation (and why you don’t owe anyone access to you)
• How God designed your brain and body to remember danger — and why remembering doesn’t mean you’re bitter or unforgiving
• A healthier, step-by-step framework for forgiveness that honors both your story and your nervous system
• What it looks like to forgive while still holding boundaries, naming abuse, and seeking safety

This conversation is especially for you if:

• You’ve been pressured to “move on” before you were ready
• You’ve been told your triggers or emotions mean you “haven’t really forgiven”
• You’re a survivor of spiritual, emotional, or relational abuse and feel confused about what God actually asks of you
• You love Jesus but feel harmed by how forgiveness has been taught or enforced

You are not broken for still hurting. You are not less spiritual because you remember. Your healing matters to God.


If this episode speaks to you:

• Follow/subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations
• Share this with a friend who’s wrestling with church, trauma, and forgiveness
• Leave a rating or review to help this space reach more people who need it 💛

Let’s rewrite the narrative around forgiveness — with truth, nuance, and compassion.