TW ED | another sad binge | cheesecake + triple layer cake + roll cake + box cake + chips...

a disclaimer about my mum ig:
she's NOT a mean human at all, she's actually crazy smart (but oblivious to other parts in life) and hardworking, earns more than my dad, decided to quit her job to stay with me while i was in high school to nourish me, super open about makeup and even boyfriends (sorry mum i didn't snatch any boyfriends im still single af), the one and only thing that ticks her off is how gluttonous i am - something she's ashamed about which is totally understandable,,
"other parents worry aabout their child's academics and yet heRE i Am argUIng with you aBOut how you CANnot sTOp eATing" -- she would say to me

on a totally unrelated note, uh, i think some comment was like "please show yourself eating with you mouth included" so that's what i tried i hope this isn't too weird this channel is a melange of all my inexplicably abnormal disgraceful behaviours already so it's just a small cherry on top ig, recently watched a documentary on mukbangs and i hope i don't disgust any of you cheers (ᅌᴗᅌ* )
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HEY! please don't watch these videos if you are easily triggered, these videos are made for myself and no one wants to promote eddie here so if you will, continue with a large grain of salt and a very, very open mind please and thank you~

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♢♢♢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʙɪɴɢɪɴɢ ♢♢♢

𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕩𝕥:
I have had a large appetite since little, but was able to maintain a lean(ish) physique due to eating habits at home. haven't been formally diagnosed but I struggle with disordered eating + body dysmorphia on a daily if not hourly basis.
after I entered university I had access to more foods than I could ever imagine, which, in conjunction with my larger appetite, led my body image to go into a downward spiral.
I have struggled with binge eating and was on the verge of bulimia (I couldn't bring myself to physically vomit food). my relationships with food and my body is pretty messed up, but I am slowly recovering.

𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟:
- bettering my relationship w/ exercise (which is no exercise atm, please don't ask me to workout because i'll see my body and hate myself)
- not eating like, 120% full at every single meal
- mindful eating
- do less body checking
- reducing the amount of sugar i binge on (for my poor skin lol)

i started documenting my binges at first, for myself. to leave a "document" of how much i could eat - because, if i don't document, then i will literally forget what my binges were about. however, it seems that these videos were helpful to some of you for controlling binges or to feel seen. so i will ignore the comments that make me feel sad!