This is a very difficult topic for me to talk about But I must cos it’s my truth and this might inspire others that I’ve been in this situation or still in it.
I wrote this song “Drowning” to finally come out of my shell.
I was raised as a ‘’Jehovah’s Witness‘’ and those years were a part of my childhood I do not enjoy talking about.
I was in a cage, trapped inside this ideology of faith and beliefs. Everything good was labelled as ungodly e.g Christmas (even saying the word “ Christmas” felt like a sin), birthday parties, Easter, dating, etc. I was not allowed to have friends outside my religion ( they call them nonbelievers, unrighteous ones, Babylon,…). Therefore I lost many good friends and even self sabotaged my relationships.
This part of the chorus “Man cannot live by bread alone but by the holy spirit...” was adapted from a bible quote “‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” I heard this quote a lot from the biggest hypocrites in the congregation that engaged in all sorts. 🤐
I sacrificed my happiness for that and all I got was more pain and more disappointment and serious identity crisis. At this point I said “ I’d rather eat the bread alone “ lol
Picture this! The same people preaching to me to believe in ‘’Jehovah’s’’ judgement were the same people hurting me and judging me at the same time for asking valid questions about the faith, why men only were allowed to give lectures? respect your elders even if they are hurting you!!! don’t take blood even if you are facing death!!! Jehovah God sees it all and has a good reason for not saving vulnerable people including children (they say, may be the child would have grown up to be a psycho, so ‘’Jehovah God’’ allowed it)…. Etc. OMG.🤯
I’m so proud of myself to have been brave enough when I was 20 years old to finally leave the organisation of ‘’Jehovah’s witnesses’’. Though, I was still mentally in chains and haunted by their truth, which brought guilt and I felt like a sinner who deserves every bad thing that happened to me cos I left ‘’Jehovah’’, I felt dirty and damaged! Just because I wanted answers!
Many times I felt betrayed by these rules and those that preached the rules, drowned in tears literally saying “I need a sign! Help me’’, still no one to save me. But I kept fighting.
I wrote this song as a way of playing my part to inspire others who may have been in a similar situation or trying to get out one, to keep fighting!
Share with someone who needs to hear this.
Keep fighting 💪💚”
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Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/album/1mpksb...
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Spotify :https://open.spotify.com/artist/4vlxQ...
Apple music: / kemi-amos
Soundcloud: / kemiamos
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Written & Produced by: @Kemiamos
Co-produced, Mixed & Mastered by: SLIKS
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LYRICS:
I have been a w**re to your merciless games
I have given all my world and you promised me freedom
I can be a dog who bites its masters finger
You have built walls around me to make me stay
But now I'm tired
I'm stuck in the mud and I'm drowning
Oh but now I'm frightened
You're stuck in my head and I feel shame, shame, shame
And now, I'm stuck in the mud I'm alone
But now I'm drowning I'm fighting
I'm stuck in the mud I'm alone
They say that man cannot live by bread alone, but the holy spirit
I've given you my love, and all I got in me
And now, I'm stuck in the mud I'm alone
But Ima keep fighting
I have been to war to fight for you dirty gains
I have waited long enough
And you taunt me again
I'm at war with my conscience again and again
This is not life, they're lies
Oh but now I'm tired
I'm stuck in the mud and I'm drowning
Oh and now I'm frightened
You're still in my head I feel shame, shame , shame
And now, I'm stuck in the mud I'm alone
But now I'm drowning I'm fighting
I'm stuck in the mud I'm alone
They say that man cannot live by, bread alone but the holy spirit
I've given you my love, and all I got in me
And now, I'm stuck in the mud I'm alone
Now look at me
I'm torn into pieces like a broken man's diary
You've taken the best of me
So why not take the rest
Semi bo se bami, cos Ima keep fighting
I don't need your sympathy it means nothing to me
You sit on your thrones full of bones and beliefs
But now, I'm stuck in the mud I'm alone ye yea
But Ima keep fighting, fighting
Fighting my pain
Oh cus Ima keep fighting
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