Is Parenting Harder for INFJs?

Many INFJ parents experience extreme self-doubt and self-judgment about their parenting style or the way they experience parenting. Many INFJ personality types who are parents may ask themselves, “Why is having kids so hard for me?” “Is something wrong with me?”

Nothing is wrong with an INFJ personality type who is having a hard time with the experience of parenting, because the truth is that, yes, parenting is harder for INFJs. This is because parenthood requires a few different things which are very hard for INFJs, such as being fully present in concrete reality, dealing with sleep interruption and sleep deprivation, dealing with loud and sudden noises, dealing with a stream of constant demands from another person, decreased solitude, continuous participation in mundane activities, and involuntary socializing. Any one of these things is highly stressful for the INFJ personality type, and most parents are hit with all these things at the same time.

So, if you are an INFJ personality type and you frequently think that you might be a horrible parent, or you made a mistake in having a child, or that the thoughts you have about being a parent are bad or wrong, or that you’re not going to be able to get through this, please know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are dealing with a legitimately stressful situation that is even more stressful on you because of your personality type, temperament and makeup. There is nothing you can do to make yourself more compatible with parenthood, but you should also know that your child is also probably okay with this.

INFJ personality types usually make wonderful parents, even though the experience of parenting may be more difficult for them than it is for other personality types.

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