Cultivating People Skills
In Your Leadership
John 13:14-15 NLT “And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.”
Quote: If you can’t relate to people they won’t follow you. Even more, if you don’t respect people they won’t respect you.
People like to hear their own name because it creates a sense of recognition, validation, and personal connection. Here are a few psychological reasons why:
1. Personal Identity – Our name is a fundamental part of who we are. Hearing it affirms our identity and makes us feel acknowledged.
2. Attention & Engagement – When someone says our name, it naturally grabs our attention and makes us more engaged in the conversation.
3. Sense of Importance – It signals that we are valued and that someone cares enough to address us personally.
4. Familiarity & Comfort – Our name is one of the first sounds we recognize as children, making it deeply ingrained as something familiar and reassuring.
5. Psychological Reward – Studies show that hearing our name activates brain regions linked to pleasure and self-relevance, making it feel good.
It’s a simple but powerful way to build rapport and strengthen relationships.
Four Truths About Leadership and People
• People are a church’s most appreciable asset.
• A leader’s most important asset is people skills.
• A good leader can lead various groups because leadership is about people.
• You can have people skills and not be a good leader, but you cannot be a good leader without people skills.
Luke 10:30-37 NLT “Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’ “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.””
Point: This response was a result of a question, “Who is my neighbor?”
The Way You See Yourself is the Way You Serve People (Family, Friends, Neighbors, Co-workers)
• The Robbers:
They used people.
They manipulated others.
They saw the man as a Victim To Exploit.
• The Priests:
They were law keepers.
They were pure in their minds.
They saw the man as a Problem to Avoid.
• The Samaritan:
He was despised.
He knew how it felt to be ignored.
He saw the man as a PERSON TO BE LOVED.
A Definition for Spiritual Leadership
“One who assumes responsibility for the health and development of relationships.
Measure what you treasure.
Inspect what you expect.
Four Word Pictures:
• The analogy of the Host.
Good hosts take INITIATIVE and make others feel comfortable.
• The analogy of the Doctor.
Good doctors ask questions. Example. Ask people how they found Mosaic. Ask if it’s their first time. First, ask their name.
• The analogy of the Counselor.
• The analogy of the Tour Guide.
KEY: GOOD GUIDES DON’T MERELY FELLOWSHIP WITH OTHERS; THEY TAKE THEM TO THE DESTINATION.
CONCLUSION: OUR PURPOSE IS NOT TO BE LIKED BY PEOPLE, BUT TO TAKE THEM ON A JOURNEY AND TO REACH A GOAL THEY MIGHT NOT REACHED ALONE.
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