How Do You Apply The Five Languages of Apology To Someone You’ve Hurt? | Facebook Walk With Reid

Hello Facebook! It is Reid Mihalko from http://reidaboutsex.com/ and it is raining out today and I am in I’m on Oregon coast and I have been informed by my friends that gorgonians do not use umbrellas and so in typical Oregon fashion Oregon....Oregon. I am...I’m not using an umbrella today because I want to be like an Oregonian. So what I need from you right now, I need you to tell me that you can hear me. So leave a comment that you can hear me because I'm using my little speaker or my plugin you know phone microphone so that you can hear me better because I'm....I’m by a busy road that is near lovely Marsh on the Oregon coast.
So it looks like everyone can hear me. Yes? Do an emoticon if you can hear me and I’m going to.....we're going to walk down to the water by the docks as I talk to you today about languages of apology and how we hear or can receive the....the apologies of others and this is going to be really useful relationship advice. This is based on a book by Gary Chapman who wrote “The Five Love Languages” this book The Five Love Languages Apology which I think got retitled to “When I'm Sorry is not Enough.” I think I think it's the same book I could be wrong but you can still buy The Five Love Languages Apology on Amazon but I think it got retitled. This is really useful for me as a as a sex educator in helping other people figure out how to forgive each other and this idea that we have like forgiveness languages or forgiveness dialects and the way that you might try to say you're sorry may not be the way that your partner feels like you really care and you’re really are sorry.

So I'm in Wheeler....Wheeler, Oregon right now for those of you who care and I’m visiting a good friend of my lover and I've got a couple of days to work on geeky things and enjoy the Oregon coast of which we are headed to in a moment. So, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman really....really powerful, simple.....simple book and I recommend that everybody reads it. For those of you who are atheist or agnostic I should warn you that the man is the creature so there are parts of the book they get a little religious.....religiously but it's a good book it’s very useful for those of you who are religiously you will love the book, it'll be great. He co-wrote a book called The Five Languages of Apology with Jennifer and I always forget her last name and Jennifer if I ever meet you in person, I apologize in advance for never being able to remember your last name. If somebody wants to Google real quickly what Jennifer's last name is and...and post it in the comments that will rock because I can't Google you right now but now we're going to cross the street because we're heading towards the waterfront but he wrote the book The Five Languages of Apology with Jennifer co-wrote it and this is also super useful and super powerful because the book talks about similar to The Five Love Languages that we have dialects of saying we’re sorry that may be different from the ways that our loved ones or our friends or our co-workers because this stuff isn't just about romantic relationships this is just people skills you your way of saying you're sorry might not be in the dialect of the way the other person feels like you're sorry and so you might be trying to apologize up and down and they just don't believe you and they just feel like you don't care and in those instances what's going on is it's probably a language of apology I am going to do a little pan here. If you're saying you're sorry to your loved one and they don't believe you or they don't feel like you're really sorry that is that is a clue that is probably a language of apology situation and that you need to change your dialect. So the book if I'm remembering it correctly and I wrote down on a notepad what the love the...the languages of apologies are so I wouldn't forget and I forgot the note at home duh! But the main ones are it's expressing regret so just saying that you're sorry, it's restitution making restitution so it's making amends or you know if you apologized and you screwed something up to go fix it there is expressing a desire to change so it's that you really want to you acknowledge that.....that you know what you did was wrong and that that you're going to change your behaviors. Regret, restitution, changing your behavior and then regret restitution changing your behavior and there's two more which I'm going to remember in a second but there are also our words but they're super....super useful. Now I'm walking out onto a dock so hopefully I will not die. Just like with The Five Love Languages you might have at least one or two ways of saying you’re sorry and you’re also [Inaudible 00:06:17] and your.....your ways of forgiving people, your ways of...of receiving somebody else's apology might not be in the same order or the