Six Ways to Provide Biblical Comfort for Those Who Mourn (Job

Over the last few months, while a man in our congregation was dying of cancer, I developed a burden to equip the church to minister to those mourning. Job’s friends set a great example in Job 2:11-13. Read on to learn six ways to provide biblical comfort for those who mourn.

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00:00 Six Ways to Provide Biblical Comfort for Those Who Mourn
Provide biblical comfort for those who mourn by:
2:20 First, being like Job’s friends...at the beginning.
7:47 Second, taking initiative.
11:06 Third, dealing with silence wisely.
18:35 Fourth, being empathetic.
27:23 Fifth, recognizing some can comfort better than us.
48:06 Sixth, making yourself uncomfortable.
54:32 Perfect comfort is not until the next life.

Here are six ways to provide biblical comfort for those who mourn.

First, Provide Biblical Comfort for Those Who Mourn By Being Like Job’s Friends (at the Beginning)
I know Job’s friends are the proverbial bad friends. When you want to tell people they are bad friends, you tell them they are like Job’s friends. So you might look at this lesson and wonder if I made a mistake. But Job’s friends started off well. Look at Job 2:11:

Job 2:11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.

Notice three things about Job’s friends:

1. Each man came from his own separate place. They didn’t live near each other.
2. They made an appointment to meet to travel to see Job. This is the ancient world before people had cell phones or cars to drive. I don’t know how far they lived from each other and then how far it was to travel to Job, but I’m sure this was no small thing.
3. They wanted to do two things. First, they wanted to show him sympathy, and second, they wanted to comfort him. We’ll talk about sympathy later. For now, let’s see how they comforted him:

Job 2:12 And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven.

They wept with him. Romans 12:15 says, “Weep with those who weep.” Job’s friends are a great example of this. First Corinthians 12:26 says, “If one member suffers, all suffer together.” They suffered with him as well:

Job 2:13 And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.

Job’s friends continue to impress! We tend to read verses quickly, but think about what this says because it is incredible: they sat on the ground for seven days and seven nights and didn’t say a word!

Comforting without Saying Anything?

Verse eleven says they were going to comfort him. If we were asked what it means to comfort someone, wouldn’t we think it involves saying something? But they comforted him without saying anything, and we’re told the reason why: because they saw that his suffering was great.

Suffering and words are practically inversely related: the greater the suffering, the fewer the words. When people learn someone is going through something difficult, they want to visit but don’t know what to say. Most of the time, when you are with suffering people, the best thing you can do is be with them and listen. It is called the ministry of presence. You won’t probably won’t have to say much.

Second, Provide Biblical Comfort for Those Who Mourn By Taking the Initiative

Job’s friends made an appointment to meet and coordinate their travel to see him, but Job didn’t seek them out. When people are suffering, they don’t usually ask for help, a meal, or to be visited. Typically, we have to do these things without being asked.

Social media is one of the greatest threats to comforting those who are mourning and to the Ministry of Presence. I’m not saying social media can’t be used in positive ways. However, social media makes people feel like sending a message is the same as visiting.

I understand if we live on the other side of the country and it...

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